Time Heals All Wounds
by Azursa
Summary: AU. Lightning, along with her team, gets caught on the hostile territory of Gran Pulse. Will she be able to run away? Will she finish the mission she was assigned with? Is it possible to break someone who is already broken? Some point between hurt, comfort, hate, loyalty, vengeance and love. Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, the universe of FFXIII, the cover image.
1. Prolog - Black Hole

A/N

Hi. The new story from me. The first one paved the way and I think my writing improved, so I hope this one is going to be waaay better. I feel a need to warn you that this one is quite gloomy and will include some violent content. Actually, quite a lot.

So here comes the prolog. To tell the truth, it wasn't written thinking of this story but it matches here quite well. Enjoy!

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Black Hole

I know, the time heal wounds but how much time need to pass, when someone abruptly tears out the root which has been growing into your heart for long years? Is that even possible to fill that hole? Is the lifetime enough? Is this hollow husk of heart even able bear the stress of flesh? Will it even have an occasion to be filled again or will it collapse inside like a rotten walnut? Will that become a black hole? Once great, ardently bright star, proudly giving light to the darkest corners of the world, warming cheerfully everything in its reach, enabling life to grow, then stripped of all its embers, exploding torturously as a supernova, leaving only tiny, dark grain, heavy in its greedy longing to take as much as it can but not able to give anything in exchange.

Can time heal the black hole?

It seems so. Yet the jets of energy can escape its abyss, traveling through the space chasm, taunting desperately like a lighthouse, promising a safe shore for these brave enough to get close. Seeking what once was lost and finding only few scraps.

However, even the jets aren't the true black hole's shine, are they? It is only able to offer an incandescent reflection of what it takes. It can no longer shine on its own and the heaviness grows with each try.

But the time heal the wounds, yeah?

So it naively awaits the day when the heaviness would be huge enough to tear the spacetime and find the way to the new world, where it could be born anew or find peace at last.


	2. 1 Dead End

Here comes the first chapter.

Enjoy.

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1\. Dead End

The deafening roar tore her ears leaving no place for any other sound to reach her. Pieces of the damaged aircraft were flying all around her, bumping into the unsteady metal walls adding to the overall clatter. The whole world was hazy, she couldn't even see properly and everything was moving so quickly she couldn't keep up. Everything but her. The muscles in her body were terribly slow and refused taking orders from her brain. Even them, the last thing she thought she could rely on, were against her.

Every heavy beat of heart was tearing her chest apart making it almost impossible to breathe. She tried to shout but couldn't hear any voice coming out her mouth. The roar of raw air breaking into the cockpit through the massive hole or maybe the roar of failing engine or whatever caused that unnatural noise, which was sending chills down her neck. Which was piercing the whole body, causing both physical and psychical pain, terrifying her to the core of her being. She wanted to move, to try to land the destroyed machine, to grab the parachute and leave it, to do anything, to at least save herself. However, most of all, she wanted to find the source of the roar. Her body was paralyzed by dread, lost in the sound she could bear no more.

The woman, with her pink hair ruffled by wind, was going down along with the aircraft, falling into pieces just as the damn machine, not able to do a thing about that. The shards of broken glass felt encouraged by her helplessness to dig deep into her body, leaving piercing pain, pinning her wrists to the wall, leaving her open for any other debris to feast on her body. And then everything went black and silent. Only the burning at her wrists felt real and the sound of her heavy breath.

She woke up, shuddering, barely able to catch a breath. A drop of cold sweat rolled down her jaw, hung on it just for a second to finally drip on the polished surface of the hard stone. She could feel the strands of pink hair clung all over the sweaty forehead and back of her neck. Only after a long while she acknowledged, she's no longer in the dream. The dream which had been haunting her for so long, always invariably appalling, always the same, always finishing with her waking up, covered in sweat, gasping for air. It was not different this time.

There was one meaningful difference, though. After acknowledging the nightmare, the pinkhead's senses started to respond to the surrounding, sucking it in, passing further to her unwilling mind to analyze. She didn't know the place. She tried to pull but, despite the strength of her arms, her wrists didn't budge a tiny bit. Unlike other things she could hear or feel in her dream, the burning on them was real. They were, no doubt, securely pinned to the stone wall. She made her knees straighten up to support the weight of her body on legs. It took some weight off the metal clasps, which were cutting violently into her pale wrists, keeping them reliably in place.

The cerulean eyes swept the area cursorily looking out for anything she could qualify as possibly dangerous… First and foremost. There was no need to seek far, there it was. The threat, sitting on the solid looking wooden chair, which was merely enough to support his massive body. She did the math in her mind and figured the man must have been at least 2 meters high and twice as heavy as her, with a fine pack of toned muscles sticking to his bones and little amount of fat here and there. The baldness of his head was shining slightly in the bright light of the torch fixed to the stone wall just behind him. Despite the whole place was rather dim, the torch was clearly illuminating the scars and tattoos his body was covered with. Savage dressed into leathers and furs as befits a native of Gran Pulse. His bearded face looked rather bored, absorbed with the new toy he was playing with.

The pink-haired woman's eyes widened and froze on the object in his hand. Her jaw slackened just for a little while but with the wave of anger and adrenaline which flooded her, it came back up forcefully. The initial haziness disappeared from her mind as far as her heart quickened enough to make her body ready to face the potential menace. Her eyes narrowed with barely contained fury but her teeth gritted, remembering her that she's in no position to take back what's hers.

The man stirred as if he felt her intense gaze on him and turned his bearded face towards his prisoner. Despite the anger she had felt a moment ago, her face was already impassive her eyes wary and focused on the man. _You wanna survive, you put your emotions aside._ The man lost interest in the ornamented, survival knife, he was playing with a moment ago and stuck it unrespectfully in a sturdy wooden table.

Though the cerulean eyes felt an urge to follow the knife, she decided against it, not wanting any emotions to affect her judgment. Even if this was the one she had got from her younger sister as a birthday present. The same one which happened to be so precious because of its sentimental value. The memento of her sister. The one and only thing which enabled her to feel her sister's presence, to reject everything that happened.

 _Sentimental value…_ She scoffed at herself in mind. _You are bigger than shit like this._

The thoughts got quickly dismissed, though. She didn't let her mind wander, she kept it focused on the man who stood and closed the distance between them in a few lazy strides and examined her carefully, showing more impatience than excitement.

"Finally." He said rather plainly with only a hint of appreciation. The only answer he got, was a cold glare of her. Not that he expected any but the woman seemed for him strangely unconcerned by a situation she found herself in. Corner of his lips curved up a little bit as he recognized this kind of behavior as typical for a well-trained soldier. There was no need to bother with any other words. He turned and left, leaving her alone, pinned to the stone wall in this strange place.

Only then, when she was left alone, she let herself to occupy her mind by examining the surrounding thoroughly.

The place was dim, lightened only with a lantern here and there. There was not even a trace of sunlight so it was impossible to tell what time of day it was. That wasn't any kind of building made by a human, that was unmistakably a cavern. The cavern's walls were irregular with small and large cavities. She could even spot a few pillars, their shape only seemingly chaotic and disordered. They had numerous bulges and breaches, most of them were thinner in the bottom than in the upper part.

 _The water must have flowed here._ She noted to herself.

The shapes in stone had been clearly made by water and it hadn't been just dripping leisurely. The current must have been quite strong here and the water level changing. She wondered if it still happened flow in this place. If it did, the estimated chances of survival would be rather poor. With her hands chained to the rock, she had no chances to free herself. Even if she didn't drown, staying in cold water would lead to hypothermia quickly. What bothered her even more, was the fact that the rainy season in Gran Pulse was about to begin in a few, maybe a dozen days.

 _If I don't get out of here until then, I'll learn the hard way how high the water level reaches._

The place was different from regular cave, though. The air was moist but it wasn't cold. It was rather warm… or that wasn't due to air. The stone. It wasn't as cold as it supposed to be. It wasn't really warm neither but its temperature was… pleasant?

 _That's strange._

It was probably that, what kept the overall temperature in cave pleasant. She clung to the rock some more. It was rather large-grained and harsh for her skin. The feeling of touching it, brought to mind sharpening of her gunblade. The sandstone sharpener exactly.

She wondered if some Pulsian savage took the Blazefire Saber – her beloved gunblade. Without training and the knowledge how to fight with this exceptional weapon, it was only going to squander in the hands of someone unfitted to even hold it. The weapon - exclusive. Only for elitary, high-ranked soldiers, which had past special training so as to fully bring out the potential of this truly unique weapon. Its lightness fitted perfectly with her agility and the 'army of one' style of fighting. She was the one who gave birth to the style and she liked the name, despite she hadn't been the one who called it like that the first time. The name reflected the nature and the point of it – using unusual quickness and nimbleness to just appear and disappear from enemy's site of view, jumping from foe to foe, leaving deadly cuts and wounds. Just 'The Army of One'. The sharpness of the blade was its another quality. It could easily split the hair in half. Its accuracy, enabling her to shot down a tiny bird in flight. Its reliability and the finest craftsmanship, which allowed her to transform the sword form into the gun and the other way round in a fraction of a second without the fear that something might jam.

 _At least I know where this one is_. Her eyes came back to the survival knife she had got from her sister months earlier for her birthday. _So practical…_ she had thought so then. Who could have known that was the exact day when her struggle for survival had begun. That was kind of paradox, she felt as if it all happened yesterday, though she also felt dozen years older.

She examined the cuffs on her wrists once again. They were solid and weren't going to budge no matter how many times she tried to free herself. Her wrists were held at the height of her head. High enough to keep her standing as long as her legs could support her. Whenever they couldn't, all her weight had to rest on her wrists, which were already achy because of doing so for goddess knew how long when she was out.

The sound of footsteps reached her ears. It was growing louder and louder and she could tell that at least three people were coming. The heavy clatter indicated that they were probably armed. Her assumptions were confirmed the moment the silhouettes emerged from one of the passages. There were four of them, all well-trained warriors. One of them stood out of the rest though. He was wearing black, well-fitted armor which seemed to not contract his movements at all and was probably giving him an additional advantage in dexterity. It clung to his body bringing out his muscles even more. The purple finishing and ornaments on it matched his eyes and long hair of the same color. A grape and black striped, folded bandana was tied around his head and a few feathers and beads were hanging from it, giving the man a pinch of mysticism. His jaw was square and strong, lips tight, overall expression rather serious. There was no doubt he was the one in charge.

The man stopped right in front of his prisoner, with the rest of the guards standing obediently just behind his back. He eyed her up and down with an uncommon scrutiny. He got no reaction to that, though. She only stared back into his eyes without blinking, her face showing no fear, no nervousness, not even anger or hater. It also didn't change when he spoke.

"She's the one. Free her hands and shall we begin." His voice was low and deep and there was definitely something mystical in the way he was taking.

Anyway, just after the words left his mouth, the two men from behind his back approached the woman and started working on her chains. She acknowledged that both of them had their own keys. This valuable information had been stored for later in the back of her mind, just before they twisted her arms behind her back and started to lead her behind, already receding in the dim passage, posture.

The pink-haired woman was being dragged back to the chamber she was kept in for some time earlier. She could feel the familiar, metallic taste of blood in her mouth and warm trickle was sipping from the cut on her lip, dripping to the stone here and there, staining it to intense, dark reddish color, marking the path. She wasn't a novice, she finished the commando training which prepared her for situations like the one she found herself into. She was aware of what it meant to be held captive. Countless interrogations, ceaseless tries to break her so as to obtain even the tiniest bit of information.

She sucked in her lip to prevent blood from trickling down her chin. They could beat her as much as they wanted, she wasn't going to sell her skin cheap. The physical pain didn't bother her as much as most people. To tell the truth, she had found herself in some dark moments of her life when the physical pain had felt like a liberation. Some people had even started to call her bloody knuckles, what had caused them bloody noses. Pushing boundaries of her combat training to the extent of physical pain had seemed to be the only way to deal with her untamable anger. Her grief such overwhelming that she would have done everything to just stop thinking. The constant struggle to not let the desperation to consume her all, day after day, bit by bit. For the exact moment, it had been great to stifle all these things, in the long run, it hadn't worked.

Her back hit the rock with such an impact that the air involuntarily left her lungs and refused to come back for a few seconds. By that time her left hand was already securely clasped and immobilized. She was no fool, she knew that with every day her chances of getting out of that place were shrinking significantly. Naivety was also foreign for her. That was nothing but logic to expect them to not be easy on her. Keeping her weak was in their business.

 _So…_

There was only one man standing in front of her trying to chain her right hand to the unyielding rock. Before he could finish, she drove a foot into his crotch with all her might. The man's eyes widened so much that his eyeballs threatened to fall out of its sockets and his jaw dropped in an inaudible cry. The grip on women's right wrist loosened and she freed her hand easily. Split second later, the key was wrestled out of the man's palm.

 _This is in my business to get out of here as fast as I can._

The man in front of her fell to his knees, clutching his genitals in both hands but another one was already running her way. The woman was aware that he would get to her before she would be able to free her second hand so she resigned from trying. Instead, she stiffened the muscles of her imprisoned arm, hopped with her left leg on the crouching man's shoulder and pushed firmly, jumping high and pulling up with her left arm in the same time. She half-rotated in the air just enough to drive her right feet into the approaching man's jaw. The kick would have been strong enough to stun even a gorgonopsid, so the human was out of her mind for some time.

While falling down, she smashed into the stone wall quite harshly but she was ready for that and to embrace the slight pain without slowing down her movements. She quickly started working the clasp on her right hand. Some fresh blood appeared on her wrist but there was no time to lick her wounds. With the corner of her eye she saw that the man, she kicked in the crotch, started to get up from his knees. He was still bent in half and was leaning with one hand on the wall while the second one was still between his legs. There was also the third man quickly approaching with his ax prepared, ready to swing with all his might.

 _Common…_

Even with the key, the lock was working heavily but this time she managed to open it just before the man reached her. She saw him take a swing and her adrenaline spiked up immediately. The woman rolled over the back of ball-kicked Pulsian who was still bend in half and leaning on the wall. The clung of the weapon hitting the hard rock filled the air and it bounced off the empty halls, coming back a few times as an echo and followed by an angry growl of the one who missed his pray.

The moment her legs connected with the ground she shot forward with her best sprinter speed, running towards one of the passages and aiming to grab **_her_** knife which was still stuck into the wooden table. That was indisputable that her chances in bare-handed combat with three armed, well-trained barbarians were poor. Well… she managed quite well so far but still, it would be insane to push her luck even further. However, with a knife, she was ready to show them, or anyone she would meet at her escape route, what she's capable of while using the short blade, relying mostly on her quickness, agility and combat instincts.

When she was just a few steps before her goal, another guard suddenly emerged from one of the passages, standing in her way. She almost bumped into him, still she managed to recoil and reroute, cursing in mind that she had to give up on the knife. She rushed into one of the passages, hoping that this one would lead her out to the surface. The passage was winding but it wasn't that what was bothering her. It started to become tighter and tighter. _If it continues like that, it will quickly become…_ She froze with her eyes widened in disbelieve and mouth agape. _You're fucking kidding me…_

Dead end.

She turned back helplessly, knowing that was the end of her escape but before she could even face the opponents properly, she was struck in the head with some blunt weapon. The world around her started to lose its sharp curves and colors immediately. The knees refused to hold her up, she fell on all fours and, not long later, all the surrounding went blank.


	3. 2 The Huntress

I have another chapter for you. I wish the happy new year for everyone and special thanks for LadyWolvie82 for beta reading after such a long time of my absence.

Enjoy!

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2\. The Huntress

She was falling, hard. She could feel that. She was falling with her back to the ground… except that there was no ground. Grand Pulse disappeared from under her feet and there was only black, dark emptiness engulfing her from each side. Was she even falling or was she just hanged in the emptiness? Some doubt nested in her mind. But just a while ago she was getting further and further away, throwing her hand up, trying to reach… What was she trying to reach? There was nothing above her no matter how far she stretched her arm. She was already far away, gone, abandoned in the void thick of sorrow.

Her eyes shut ever so tightly, and her arm reached up once again, as a last resort. Full of desperation, stripped of hope yet still, she kept searching for what was already lost. _No… wait_. _Don't go…_ She heard herself whisper into the very emptiness, but sound waves seemed to not propagate in there. She wanted to try once again, to call but the last breath of air had already left her lungs. With no air to make her vocal chords vibrate, all she could do now was to mouth the name she knew so well, the one she wasn't ready to let go yet… the one she wasn't ready to forget ever. The name's owner… that's who her hand was trying desperately to reach but the warmth of another hand never came.

The void and the stupor started to slowly give place to slight pain. Barely noticeable at first, easy overlook, then harder and harder to ignore when it started to escalate with every single beat of her heart. For a while she thought her organs must have been misplaced as the pumping of blood was the most intense in her head instead of her chest. Hell, it was getting strong enough to slowly drag her out of the nothingness she found herself in. By the time she started to distinguish sounds, she was sure that the crimson liquid, which was responsible for distributing oxygen in her system, would rip her skull apart.

She opened one of her eyes ever so slightly, with a painful grimace on her face _. Stone. Lit torch. Stone passages. Pulsian warrior. Stone columns. Wooden table. Even more stone._ Well… she seemed to be in the exact the same place as before. At least this time the pounding in her head distracted her from the pain in her wrists.

Her knees straightened up to put out the pressure from her hands. As she moved her leg, she heard quiet clinging this time. Her eyes dropped down to the space between her ankles and her gaze focused on the chain hanging from one ankle to another.

 _Tch…looks like my vain attempt to run away made them dust off their brains and maybe they'll start to use them… unfortunately._

The guard acknowledged that the woman woke up, but this time he didn't go to inform his boss. He just looked at her and went back to whatever he was doing… which was sitting in the chair and doing nothing.

The light of the torch was dim, but it still was too bright for her and was only deepening her headache. Despite the pain, she whipped the grimace out of her face, equipping it in its typically dissatisfied expression.

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 **"** **Indifference. That's the only way. The moment they see the slightest piece of your weakness, you lose it. They will feast on that like a predator, feeling that they're close to breaking you. Do not show them anything. Any emotions, any pain, any needs. Do not make it easier for them. Be an impenetrable stone." The man in sumptuous, military uniform stopped in front of the modest group of recruits to sweep them all. "You'll train the captive situation in pairs for five days then you change places. Everything that doesn't make permanent damage for health or physical condition, allowed. Interrogators, I count on your creativity. Captives, good person at your right is your pair." The pink haired woman looked to her right but there was no one there. She was on the verge. She looked left to check if there is anyone without pair but then she spotted the man stopping just before her eyes. The exact man who was speaking a moment ago.**

 **"** **Farron."**

 **"** **Yes, sir?" She asked, her voice full of confidence and unwavering, back perfectly straight. He had his hands crossed behind his back and was watching her carefully as if measuring an opponent.**

 **"** **You train with me." His eyes narrowed when the thinnest smirk appeared on his face. "And since I no longer need to train the captive side, it's whole 10 days for you."**

* * *

 _Impenetrable stone, huh?_ She looked around seeing the passages and different shapes hollowed in stone by water. _So much for impenetrable…_

The pink fringe was falling on her eyes but… well, she couldn't use her hands to brush it off and she wouldn't risk any sharp movement of her head. Trying to blow it from her eyes was an option but she decided to not bother. The picture of the surrounding was safely stored in her mind anyway and there didn't seem to be anything different.

She had time. There was nothing more she could do to improve her situation now, so she started to rummage through this storage of memories. Analyzing the recent ones was harder than she thought. The whole attempt of escape was blurry, probably because of the head injury. With enough amount of effort, she was able to recall most of it though. The number of crossings, the turns she took, and the location of the dead end. The last one was the most crucial. Stumbling across it again would be just… well, it would be just stupid of her to not learn on her mistakes and it would probably cost her 's not some mindless moth bumping the light bulb once after another. Every piece of information was useful for the next try. Supposing that there would be the next try. She would have to do something about the chain between her ankles first, though. Then find a way out of that labyrinth, avoiding being knocked cold again in the meantime.

 _Right._ She thought, taking a cleansing breath. _A piece of cake._

Suddenly there was some rumble down one of the passages and female voice could be heard. It was still too far away to distinguish exact words but gradually it was getting more and more audible. She stopped listening. Her attention snapped back to the guardian who stood up from his chair and started his lazy walk towards the same passage the voice was coming from. _This one must lead me to the exit._

"Heeey, Shammu. Anythin' new?" Now she could hear the voice more clearly. It was low pitched and had a thick, strong Pulsian accent but also definitely feminine. Its tone was clearly indicating that the woman she was about to see was the confident one and doesn't give a shit about what people think about her. "How is the sleepin' princess?"

 _The sleeping princess?_ The woman made an actual effort to try to remove the pink fringe from her eyes with a move of her head, that only gave her more pain.

"Awake." She heard an answer from the man who was guarding her just a while ago. _I guess it does refer to me. Tch..._

"Too bad, there is no need for a wake-up kiss."

The prisoner's brows shot to the roots of her pink hair when she tried to imagine this absurd situation. For a moment here, her mind was more blank than her face, but she quickly composed herself again, hearing the steps of the owner to this intriguingly perky - but also a little bit intimidating voice.

The woman was approaching in a quite quick but brisk pace. Her steps were steady and graceful at the same time. She was tall, and her shoulders were muscled from years of weapon wielding. That's at least what the pinkette assumed seeing red spear at woman's back. She was wearing a blue, Pulsian sari. It was spreading from her left shoulder to the right hip and then went behind her back, tied in some wicked way, which made it cover woman's backside and hang leisurely covering completely woman's right leg but leaving convenient split for the left one. On her legs were almost knee high, leather, strapped sandals. Airy but, thanks to the sturdy leather, able to protect shins from minor injuries and scratches. Made for Gran Pulse climate and wildlife.

 _The huntress._ The prisoner noted to herself. She did her homework before getting to Gran Pulse, and she knew that the attire the woman was wearing was traditional sari of Gran Pulse huntresses. She read a lot about how it is precisely sewed and tied, to give full comfort in a fight. How it completely does not restrict any movement human body is capable of, how the fabric is of best quality and carefully selected, enabling noiseless sneaking and silky enough to just perfectly cling to the body where needed or just falling freely and dancing in unison with a wind where loosely released. However, she couldn't help huge doubts from forming in her mind. _Does not constrict any movement? I do not know how she is even able to walk in it without tripping or walking on the front part. No one is going to convince me this bullshit is the actual truth. Well… unless I try it myself and am proved wrong… which is, considering my current situation, highly unlikely._

"My, my, what a prey we've caught 'ere." Mused clearly entertained woman, stopping just in front of her prisoner, who decided to ignore the derogatory comment. She was aware that being humiliated and beaten was going to happen daily - so the sooner she got used to it, the better.

Her muscles tensed in alert when she saw the huntress leaning closer with the hand reaching toward her face. How surprised she was when the slender fingers brushed the rest of the pink hair off her face and tugged them behind her ear.

"Ahh… That's way better, isn't it?"

Cerulean blue eyes rose to measure the Pulsian, who stood there with her hands on her hips and with clearly satisfied with herself expression. Then, when nothing was obscuring her vision and the light was better, she could see some more details. Her complexion was slightly darker than most people she knew back on Cocoon, but it wasn't brown yet. Sun over Gran Pulse can be scorching as hell, she doubted that it's sun's fault, though. The pieces of Pulsian's body, which weren't covered by the sari, undeniably showed a rich amount of solid muscle everywhere from the base of her leg, through half-uncovered abs, slender fingers, sculpted forearms to finish with strong shoulders. She could tell just after a few glances that the woman had to be strong but, in contrast to the guard she saw earlier, her muscles weren't overgrown. _They probably let her maintain a good proportion of strength and agility. This one will probably give me a little bit more trouble…_ The biggest problem was getting a weapon. Once she had that she could deal with most of these apes. The truth is, the bigger they are the slower are their movements and she knew just fine where to cut to slow them even more and finish the job if there was time for this one though, it was hard to tell… and her confidence was unsettling. _Unless it's only boldness out of stupidity._ When she finished estimating the level of hazard her eyes went further up. The woman was half of the head higher with a thick mane of dark hair wildly blown by the wind. They were mostly let looseand falling on her back over the shoulders. Some tiny braids were visible on each side of her head and tugged behind her ears. Probably an attempt to keep the hair in check to some purple earrings in the shape of fangs were hanging from her ears. There were also two necklaces. One of them was short, finished with a colorless crystal on the height of her collarbone. The second one, longer, made from a variety of colorful beads and ornaments, hanging down her cleavage to the black top, which kept her breasts firmly in cerulean eyes decided to not linger too much on this specific part of the huntress' body and went back to the face only to see her lips, a little bit fuller then her own and curved in a lopsided grin. She noted also shapely nose, high cheekbones and a beauty spot just under her right eye. The lopsided grin grew bigger when their eyes met finally. _Green…that's a rare color_. However, that wasn't about color. The eyes were narrowed and piercing, clearly intended to be intimidating. Even she could feel the slight spike of adrenaline when these eyes were trying to drill through her and reach the core of her being. You know how it is when you look into predator's eyes – you cannot avert the gaze. That would be the sign of weakness and signal for a predator to attack. _You want to survive, you need to hold the gaze and fight back._ That's what she did. She stared back into the jade eyes with unwavering confidence. Her cold cerulean eyes shooting icicles and sustaining the impenetrable wall of ice just behind them. Oh, she was aware her own gaze could be… or not only _could_ but most of the times _was_ intimidating and seeping with scorn. Once she heard rumors among young recruitsthat she could freeze the water with a stare. _Complete absurd…_ Though, she never really proved them wrong.

So that was what she did, she fought back the scrutinous gaze what seemed to excite the Pulsian even more, as her smirk grew bigger. Any other expression was unnecessary, so she just kept it how she liked it – plain and impassive.

"Well… I like what I'mseein'." Commented the dark-haired woman letting out a small laughter.

 _Go fuck yourself._

The Cocoonian was always proud of her ability to control her emotions. It was harder with her tongue. She had tended to snap back at officers with a higher rank, what had caused her decent amount of trouble but after years she finally mastered the ability to bite her tongue too. She was taught in a hard way that talking back when you're in no position to do so wasn't the best idea. Saying some thoughts aloud, when it wasn't necessary, could bring her only more inconvenience. Especially when she was still Guardian Corp sergeant and had orders to follow. Her employers didn't like her talking her mind, so she found it unnecessary to inform them that she was going to take care of the problem her way. Just if she was effective, they didn't ask the questions. It didn't mean that the retorts to didn't come to her mind, though.

"Oerba Yun Fang. I'm 'ere to watch over ya and make sure ya won't do anythin' stupid. Ya can call me Fang."

 _Tch… I doubt I'll need that._

"It's your turn to give me your name I guess."Fang added; and when she got no answer, it didn't help at all. She let out a resigned breath. "Yeah, they've told me ya are not the talkative one but ya are stuck with me for the rest of the day and probably more in the nearest future. It's just more fun talkin' **with** someone than talkin' **to** someone." The Pulsian shook her head huffing under her nose with a mild amusement. "Still not a word, huh?" There was a small pause and the pinkette started to wonder when the Pulsian would stop waiting for her answers. "I heard that even Caius wasn't able to make ya sing."

 _Caius. He must be the one who should interrogate me._

"Unfortunately, he's not the one to give up easily. He'll be back." Fang's expression grew more serious and for just a tiny moment she could swear that she saw the trail of concern in the jade eyes."With less and less patience every next time. That's your choice." She shrugged and started to walk back in the direction of the table and chair. She unclasped her red spear from a harness on her lower back and leaned it on the wall then she grabbed the backrest of the chair and started dragging it closer to the prisoner. The chair made the screeching noise, its legs scraping on the raw stone, before it was spun around with its back towards the prisoner and the huntress sat, straddling it with her legs and leaning with her forearm on the backrest.

"I have to admit, I've been excited to meet ya. Ya're already a legend 'ere. Ya gave us a lot of trouble to catch ya. Many fine warriors have died because of ya. I heard about your quickness and how ya're able to exploit the terrain against us. Ya, the foreigner, exploitin' our home against us. Intriguin' as hell. I wish I was there, so I could try ya myself or at least watch ya in action. To check if ya really are as good as they say - or they only exaggerate your prowess, because it took them so damn long to take ya alive."

The pink haired woman stood there attentively, watching suspiciously the Pulsian. She couldn't get, what all that talking was for. Were they going to play a good and a bad cop? _If you think I'm going to fall for that you're seriously mistaken._

The Pulsian seemed rather relaxed, sitting leisurely in the chair. "Yeah, I know ya won't tell me. There is some way to check how good ya are, though." She twirled the bunch of keys around her finger a few times and the provocative smirk appeared on her face.

The prisoner's heart quickened but she tried to look just as impassive as earlier. _Is it even possible to be so foolish and cocky?_ Well, she always tended to underestimate people's stupidity but this one didn't seem to be a total idiot. _Cocky, yes. Stupid, no._ Anyway, she made sure to get ready in case the huntress decided to free her. Her eyes observed watchfully as her jailer got up from the chair and slowly closed the distance between them with lips curved, eyes a little bit shady.

"That's one heck of the way to check."The Pulsian stopped just in front of her as if weighing the options or just to taunt her. "That's temptin' as hell to see what ya're really made of…" She bit her lip seizing her opponent and considering options."Ahh… But I'm no fool." There was a decent amount of disappointment in brunettes voice before she winked and pinned the keys back to her belt. "They would skin me alive if ya escaped."

The playful attitude of Fang started to irritate her. Somehow, she wasn't in the mood to play.

A small frown appeared at Fang's face as if she was considering her earlier words. "Though I pretty much doubt that." The frown quickly gave place to a confident smile. "No person or beast I haven't been able to hunt down so far." She blew out a long, disappointed breath, having to turn down the challenge she was so eager to take. "If not for Vanille, I would gladly take the risk… but it's not only my fate I'm responsible for." The imprisoned woman stored another piece of information. _Vanille. Whoever she is, Oerba Yun Fang seems to be deeply concerned about her well-being. You never know when some information may come in handy… And Fang doesn't seem to be secretive one. Good._

"Boss is oddly interested in all of ya. I wonder why."

The sentence caught her attention. It confirmed her assumptions. _I'm not the only one here. All my squad is here… or dead by now._

People always underestimated the value of good reconnaissance. They prefer to run headfirst into a battle. Surveillance is a key when you need to take care of something quietly, minimize losses or to survive in a hopeless situation… _Just like mine._

"Ah, anyway. We need a name for ya, don't we?" The Cocoonian didn't answer but Fang expected that this time. "Since ya won't tell me, I need to make it up on my own." She furrowed her brows thinking deeply and leaned her chin on her fist. "Hmm…" She murmured traveling slowly with her eyes up and down the prisoner. Finally, her eyes stopped at the height of the Cocoonian's breasts. A little smile appeared on her face was what surprised the pink haired woman at first, and then caused the anger inside of her to grow. It grew even more when a trace of embarrassment started to appear in her head.

"What do we have 'ere?" The Pulsian leaned down to take a better look. The pinkhead's anger peaked and her cerulean eyes were the killing ones. Her hand was itching, yearning to slap the insolent woman. Unfortunately, both of her hands were tied, and balling and straining them didn't do a damn thing. She saw huntresses hand reach toward her chest to take… _The pendant_ … _She was looking at the pendant_. For a while, she felt like an idiot. She even blinked twice before her eyes went back to express nothingness. The situation already gone from her mind. She decided to just leave it behind, seeing no point in analyzing it, wanting to just forget, too embarrassed to dwell upon her mind's interpretation of the situation.

"Lightnin' bolt, huh?" The brunette took her back to reality with her low voice. She let the lightning bolt shaped pendant go. "Lightnin'. I like it." Her smile looked satisfied. "I hope ya like it too because ya didn't give me much of a choice."

Surprisingly, she did like it. To tell the truth, she liked it more than her real name. Surprisingly, it was familiar to her… Not that she showed it somehow. Her eyes were still staring back at the brunette coldly. The brunette who took a few steps back and was sweeping her eyes through the prisoner, stroking her chin and nodding to herself with deep satisfaction.

"Yeah. Lightnin'." The familiar smirk appeared on her face. "Quick, deadly and stunnin'."


	4. 3 Quick, Deadly and Stunning

Okaay, I know some time passed but, now, my focus is on this story ;) My goal is to make it... captivating... (what an irony...with Lightning being held captive xD) Well, we'll see when I finish.

LadyWolvie82 - thanks for editing!

Enjoy!

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3\. Quick, Deadly and Stunning

Lightning was dragged back into her cell. This time around, there were two of them pinning her back to the wall, waiting until her wrists were securely clasped and unmovable. There wasn't any possibility to free herself from their grip. Savages or not, even the Pulsians were learning on their mistakes. Anyway, Lightning's mind was distracted enough to pay little attention to the escape possibilities. When the prisoner was safely immobilized, one of them stayed in the room, keeping an eye on her and the other one left.

She was breathing slowly but heavily, sucking in the air through her clenched teeth. Trying to slow her heartbeat to the standard rate. That wasn't easy with the random patches on her body burning. The itching soreness shooting through them and traveling straight to her brain. The smell of burnt skin was still present in her nostrils making her sick. _In and out, Farron. In and out._ She made her best to calm her breathing and fight down mild nausea.

It took some time before Lightning was able to ignore the fresh wounds and focus her mind properly again. _It'll take more than that to break me_. She got back to sucking in as much information from the environment as she could, sorting and storing them in her mind. From no better thing to do, she dusted off a big part of the information she had learned about Gran Pulse, before even setting a foot in this world. She tried to count the flow of time but, since she had gotten there, she hadn't had the privilege of seeing the daylight so the cause was lost. The only thing she could count was the end of shift of the guards. The number of how many times they changed, became her measure of time.

Here it was. Another shift change. This time her eyes caught the glimpse of the blue fabric and she immediately knew whose turn it was. _Fang._

"Mornin' Lightnin'." The woman threw into Light's direction without a care in the world. "Anythin' new today?" She asked stopping in front of her prisoner and eyeing her carefully. Lightning wasn't sure if Fang was really hoping for an answer some day, or if she was mocking her, or if these questions just became a thoughtless habit of her. At least she got a glimpse of the time of the day. _Morning…_

"Still nothin', huh?" The huntress asked rhetorically, but it wasn't the end of this one-sided conversation they've been having. "Ya know… they've started taking bets. Some morons here are convinced that ya can't speak…" _Tch…_ _Ridiculous…_ A nagging urge to scoff started to bother her, but she pushed it back where it came from, showing nothing but unconcern.

"But I know it's not the case at all." She said, drilling her knowing eyes into hers. "Ya think ya're some tough badass who can endure everythin', but can ya really?" The huntress cocked her head looking at her with some smug curiosity. She took a few steps back, still keeping her gaze on the other woman. Lightning's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, watching as the woman sat on the chair leisurely and threw her long legs on the table.

The comment was clearly provocative, and it caused some unpleasant warmness to gather in the pinkette's stomach. It dispersed quickly but not before it found Lightning asking herself the same question. _Can I? Endure everything?_ Somehow the question didn't relate at all to the things the Pulsian troops had in stock for her. She had been striving to endure long well before she got here.

Fang took out a pouch, unscrewed the cap slowly, poured some water into her mouth and swallowed. There was no need for her to look to be completely aware of the cerulean eyes still observing her closely. That was when Lightning saw one corner of her mouth go up again and her face turned back to look at Lightning with a smug expression.

"At least now I can be sure ya understand what I'm sayin' to ya… with that look ya just gave me a short time ago." Lightning was perplexed. She was aware that there might have been some shift in her gaze but the change was so indistinct that she doubted anyone could catch that. "It's about the details, ya know? This tiny twitch in your facial muscles before you manage to stifle it." The huntress chuckled under her breath. "That's a load off. I bet some gil, so it's good to know that ya're definitely not deaf."

Fang's words stung her ears but this time she was sure her facial expression didn't change one bit. _Thanks for the motivation to keep my mouth shut._ Now she knew that she had to be extra careful around this one. Another reason to not let her focus falter.

"Want some?" Fang shook the pouch in her hand and got up to her feet without waiting for any answer. She stopped just before the prisoner and hold the pouch in front of her eyes. "It's just water in here, but water is better than notin'." The prisoner's eyes skipped from Fang to the pouch and back. They seemed conflicted. Finally, Light's lips parted and she let the Oerban pour some water inside.

"Ya're not as naughty as they say." Fang said just after Light's lips closed again but then a trace of impish gleam appeared in the cerulean eyes. The mouthful of water was spat straight in her face before she had any chance to react. Lightning saw the brunette wiping her face with a long groan and facing again the gleam that she was sure didn't disappear just yet.

Her face yanked to the side as Fang backhanded her. The hit was quite strong, but it wasn't anything that could cause any real damage. She started to turn her head slowly back and she just couldn't help the smirk forming on her lips. The moment she faced Fang, it was already full-blown and her eyes were staring challengingly from under the pink strands.

The Pulsian's brows shoot up seeing the challenge just in front of her. "Oh, ya still have some bite left in ya." Her eyes narrowed and Lightning could see the little, excited sparkles jumping there, just before the corners of her lips turned slightly up. "Fine. Ya don't want to drink the water, I won't force ya." Then she got back to her chair, finishing to wipe her face dry on the way.

That was probably the most foolish thing Lightning did so far, and she knew she would clearly regret it with time. However, at this exact moment she was convinced that if she could reverse time, she would do it again and again. If she could reverse time. That was a clue… She would do so many things in her life differently…

Her expression grew solemn again and her mind drifted off to some dark place full of regrets. If she didn't need to keep up the appearances, she would sigh heavily but here she could only let herself sunk her head slightly and close her eyes for a fleeting moment.

When she opened them again, they focused on the very pendant dangling down from her neck. The silver lightning bolt contour filled with black enamel and two square crystals on the right side. One yellow, one blue, visible even if the color lost its vividness in the dimness of this place. That little thing brought out a lot of memories…

XXX

 **Claire Farron passed the cheering crowd quickly. She wanted to be out of this shady place as soon as she could, but there was one more thing she had to do. Her frown deepened as she adjusted a duffle bag on her shoulder and sucked in her cut lip. It was swollen and itchy but stopped bleeding at least. She approached the dark-skinned man sitting on the desk with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He was busy counting the bills in his hands.**

 **Claire's palm appeared on the desk in front of him, getting his attention.**

 **"What can I do for you, missy?" He asked breathing out the smoke from his lungs and putting out his cigarette.**

 **"I've just won a fight out there…" she nodded in the direction of the shouting crowd "came for my share."**

 **"Yea, yea, I've seen you. That'd be the third fight won in a row." He said mildly intrigued but, still, he didn't seem exceptionally content with that fact.**

 **"Apparently." She cut the conversation short watching the man crossing something out in his worn notebook.**

 **"Aren't you too young for this shit, huh? What do you do this for?" He eyed her from over the bills in his hands. A pinch of disapproval lingered in his gaze.**

 **"Guess the same reason as the rest of them."Claire answered with a shrug, giving the money a purposeful glare. If she acknowledged the disapprobation in the man's eyes, her unconcerned demeanor didn't give it away.**

 **"What? Parents cut off your pocket money?" He placed a few bills on the desk between them.**

 **"That's none of your business." This time the shift in her was evident as her voice grew hostile and the muscles in her jaw tensed visibly. She reached for the money without taking her eyes off him.**

 **"Hey, I'm paying you, missy, so it is my business." The man put his palm on the desk with a heavy thud just next to Claire's, his fingertips pining the cash purposefully. Claire's heart rate quickened. She wasn't the one to get intimidated easily, though. Her eyes narrowed at him as she took the money slowly and shoved them into her pocket. Then she took a step back without any other word and turned her back at him. The girl was about to leave when she hesitated and looked over her shoulder. That man ran the place, so getting on his bad side wasn't in her best interest.**

 **"They're both dead…" She threw over her shoulder and started walking towards the exit without waiting for any reaction.**

 **XXX**

 **A week later, Claire Farron had found herself facing the man once again.**

 **"I've seen you in the ring today. You've put on quite a good show out there." He greeted her with a little bit more enthusiasm than the last time but he was still eyeing her suspiciously.**

 **"Yeah. I guess so."**

 **"Cheerful as always." He muttered under his nose but grew serious quite quickly. "Listen. People start to ask about you. They see a golden goose in you." Claire raised her brow in interest and looked into the direction the man pointed with his head. "Some of them asked me to pass a word to you… In case you needed some sponsorship." She said nothing, as her eyes widened in surprise. That was a perfect opportunity. She needed the cash. They had it. She had a talent for kicking peoples' asses. They really needed someone with that kind of talent to make even more cash for them. Tempting… Though, the black-skinned man didn't seem very thrilled with the idea. She chewed on the inside of her cheek when her eyes skimmed through the group of men sitting just across the room. Her eyes meet with one of them briefly just before she got back into the discussion.**

 **"I'm good on my own." She answered with a sigh. She promised her sister numerous times that she wouldn't come back here again… and here she was. How was she supposed to keep them fed with only a part-time job? They were barely making ends meet. Every time the finances grew thin she was dragged to this place like a moth to fire. However, fighting in the pit was one thing and sinking into this shady circle was the other. There was no way Claire could let herself do it. She promised… and that was all she could do… at least that. Their life was rich in trouble anyway. They didn't need more.**

 **"Wise decision." The man nodded with appreciation. "Wouldn't like to deal with any of them."**

 **Unfortunately, the man she made eye contact with a moment earlier now approached them. A wide grin on his face, a smell of stale beer dragged behind him.**

 **"Another fight won, I have to admit that I'm impressed, love." He said eyeing her from toes to head but Claire only stared at him blankly finding no defined question in the sentence. His general demeanor and the half-patronizing, half-rapacious way he was looking at her, created a surge of disgust in her body. Still, in this place it was better to play things cool. "I bet that Sazh here…" he nodded towards the black man, "has already filled you in with my proposition." He continued and this time awaited an answer impatiently.**

 **"Yeah, he has. Thanks for the offer, but I'm good on my own." Her answer and, moreover, the unconcerned, almost bored, tone took him aback. He didn't get as much attention as he expected, hell, he got almost none and it wasn't the way he liked it.**

 **"Oh, I'm sure of it. However, you could be so much better with _proper guidance_." He got closer to the juvenile. Insistently. Claire's muscles tensed with a flinch, ready to cause some trouble if need be. That was when Sazh slammed his palm on the desk between the two of them.**

 **"You've heard the lady, Bobby. She doesn't want your dirty money."**

 **"That's because she doesn't know yet…" So-called Bobby tried to convince them both but Sazh wasn't prone to discuss cutting him off half sentence.**

 **"She's heard enough. Now, back off before I have you dragged out of here."**

 **The men were starring into each other eyes gravely, none of them eager to give in. That was Bobby who broke first.**

 **"You're ruining your own business, old man." He said with a scoff and left.**

 **Claire let out a breath she didn't know she was keeping in the entire time. Slowly though. She didn't want Sazh to get a glimpse of the fear, she had barely pushed back deep into some forgotten place inside her.**

 **"Yea… your share, right?" Sazh's voice brought her attention back to him just as the other man reached the table he was sitting at earlier. She looked at the wad of cash lying in front of her. It wasn't big and she doubted the old man would gull her but she decided to count it anyway. Good practice.**

 **"You can sign with me for the end of next week…" Suddenly, she froze looking at the bills in her hands losing interest in arranging the next fight. Her brows furrowed in confusion. Something wasn't right. "That's too much…" She said, raising her still confused eyes up but they didn't meet the other pair. Sazh was too occupied flicking through his notebook.**

 **"Yea, yea… consider it a 'good customer bonus'." The old man answered with a dismissive wave of his hand, not tearing his eyes away from the yellowed page. The bills in Claire's right hand were folded carefully and shoved down her pocket. Though, the bills from the left one were put back before the old man.**

 **"I don't want your dirty money…" Her serious tone tore him away from the sloppy scribbles as his eyes widened in surprise. He stared at her for a good moment, his brows high at the roots of the black afro. The girl's stomach turned when she realized that she might have just crossed the line. Again, her pride and tongue faster than her mind but her eyes ready to stand up for what she just said. Relief took over her body as Sazh burst out laughing. His reaction made even corners of her mouth rise a little bit.**

 **"Oh, I like you. You've got balls." He commented, still chuckling under his nose and pointed with a pencil on the page in his notebook. "That would be just right for you. Friday night?"**

 **"Will do."**

 **"Claire, right?" He mused more to himself but stopped the pencil half the word and raised his eyes to her chewing on his bottom lip, thinking. "You know, you could earn more if you had some fun nickname."**

 **"Oh?" The comment took her off-guard while she was collecting her things to get out.**

 **"I saw you in there..." He pointed at the arena with the pencil. " _Lightning_ will fit you well. What do you say?"**

 **"Um… Al-right…" The hesitance nature crawled into her voice. It wasn't because she disliked the nickname. All in all, it wasn't that bad. She was just baffled that, despite the whole idea popped up seconds earlier, _Lightning_ seemed to already stick to her. _That was quick…_**

 **"Lightning it is."**

 **XXX**

 **Claire 'Lightning' Farron was sitting on the wooden bench in an old locker room, finishing to wrap her fists in the bandages. She was calm and focused. As always before a fight. She rolled the bandage the last time around her knuckles and finished the pass on the wrist. Her palm balled into a fist, then opened and balled again. She threw a testing punch into the air then pulled her hand back inspecting it closely. Her wrist made a few circles clockwise and the other way round then her fingers wiggled. They were comfortable. The bandage held securely the wrist joint and all the movable bones but didn't constrain her movements. _Perfect._ She finally figured how to do it properly. A content smile appeared on her face and that was when she saw Sazh standing at the door.**

 **"Ready?" He asked leaning on the door frame. There was no actual door, only the frame remained. Generally, the place looked shabby. The paint was falling off the walls in uneven patches, the bench, she was sitting on, had two broken rungs, the lockers were rusty, some of them dented.**

 **"I guess so." She answered, still a little bit surprised to see him. No one had ever before gone down to the locker room to see her before a fight so that was unexpected. Hell, she had never seen Sazh on the down level at all.**

 **"I've got something for you." He entered the room taking advantage of her surprise and opened his palm. Something slipped down from it and was now dangling down from his fingers. A silver necklace with a lightning bolt shaped pendant. It was black inside with two gemstones on the side and little, shiny crystals at the peak of the bolt. She started shaking her head in refusal but he spoke again before she managed to mouth her protest out. "The more popular you are, the more money you and me both get from this. So it's to our advantage to catch some more attention for you." She chewed at her bottom lip for a while, considering, staring warily at the pendant then at Sazh and, finally, taking it into her palm.**

 **"Lightning, huh?" She breathed out a slight amusement, clasping the necklace around her neck.**

 **"Yea." The man chuckled along with her. "Gonna go now. And you show them how lightning strikes." He said with a wink and started to walk back towards the exit.**

 **Lightning looked at the pendant hanging down her neck and raised her eyes to Sazh's back just before he reached the doorframe. Some newfound determination was sparkling in the cerulean orbs and even a small confident smile appeared on her face. Oh, yeah. She liked her nickname.**

 **"Consider it done."**


	5. 4 The Most Precious Currency

Hi there. On with the Chapter 4. I hope you're not too confused by the lack of chronology in the memories... cuz it's gonna get worse xD

Thanks for LadyWolvie82 for being my steadfast beta.

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 **4\. The Most Precious Currency**

Darkness… again. Lightning, surrounded by an empty void. The place might be all too familiar to her, ever since she became a regular there. Although, there was no chance of her ever getting completely used to it. The air - thick with anxiety. The fear, the same fear that she had banished from her everyday life, bubbling up to the surface right then and there, sticking to her skin, filling her lungs threatening to suffocate her. Chaos spreading in all directions. This time around it's only one flickering glow-tube lamp in the middle, lightening the narrow table with its white glow.

Lightning's heart sunk as she took the first trembling step into its direction. The table wasn't empty. White sheets were hanging down half the way to the cold blue tiles, covering the posture lying just beneath it, giving away only a shape. A cruel glimpse of what was hidden there. Lightning tried to fasten her pace, to get to the table quicker, to get over with that and stop stretching this torment in time. However, her legs just didn't want to listen to her. They insisted on taking one slow step at a time. Dragging her unwilling body closer and closer until… she was there. The air stopped in her lungs as she stretched her trembling hands towards the sheets and gripped on the hem. Carefully, she pulled part of the sheet away only to unravel the pink hair, even more vivid than her own, and the pale, innocent face she knew so well.

"Oh, Serah…" She whispered as all strength left her and she needed to lean on the corner of the table. Hot tears started to run down her face. One of them dripped down and shattered against the still cheek of her sister. In this exact moment, Serah's eyes opened wide abruptly. Her dead, unseeing eyes staring straight into Lightning's. She jumped in terror stumbling against her own insubordinate legs and she started falling. A long way down, into the darkness.

XXX

She woke up moments later, breathing heavily. Her ribs were barely able to contain the heart bumping against them over and over. Her widened in fear eyes skimmed through the surrounding, and she slowly started to realize just where she was. That wasn't the case until she found the emerald ones staring back into hers. These eyes conflicted, filled with a mix of curiosity, confusion and just a little shadow of concern.

Lightning then forced her breathing to calm down and somehow composed herself in no time. Despite the plain mask on her face, her insides were still turning painfully. The very image of her sister's dead eyes being impossible to push out of her brain.

She could see Fang's frown soften as the pinkette straightened against the wall getting back into her usual impassiveness. A breathy laughter left the brunette's mouth when she shook her head unbelievingly. Her eyes dropped back onto the blade of her spear. She started moving her hand against it again with some object gripped securely in her palm. The characteristic sound of sharpening steel filled the room.

"Not the happiest dream you were havin' there, huh?"Fang's eyes rose back to Light's face when she continued to sharpen her spear. A few seconds later she blew at the edge to get rid of the steel dust, then she wiped it with a cloth and got up on her feet to put her spear on the weapon rack. On her way back, she stopped before Lightning, eyeing her with nothing but pure curiosity.

"If only they knew just what terrifies you so much, things would be way easier… for both sides." The brunette looked at her prisoner meaningfully. "Think about it. Is there really any point in prolongin' this?" Lightning didn't show any recognition to the words but she could easily imagine what the woman had in mind. She knew and she wasn't going to give her future another thought. It was safer not to. It was safer to assume at this point that there's no future for herself at all.

"They'll make ya suffer until they break ya." That wasn't much of a surprise that they would send someone to play her even here. To plant a grain of doubt in her, so its roots would slowly grow into her, leaving cracks in her consistency. Cracks that would beg for it being exploited. She was trained for that though.

"I don't imagine any happy endin' for ya here." The tiny traces of anxiety or maybe even compassion in Fang's eyes awakened a little bit of curiosity in her. She didn't expect to find any of these in the Gran Pulse savage. Her confusion didn't last long, as her mind quickly found the most reasonable explanation. She barely held back a scoff. _Really, Fang? A bad cop and a good cop? You can try that trick with some rookies, but not me._ She was aware that the technique proved to be very useful and successful in many cases. It was a perfect choice for the interrogation of civilians. However, she was a professional.

"I doubt ya would be let go freely no matter if ya start talkin' or not but ya can shorten your sufferin'. Maybe they'd even keep ya alive if ya proved to be useful."

 _Shorten my suffering? I'd like that…_ A sad irony crawled into her mind. She remembered these countless moments from months ago when she had thrived to shorten her suffering even at that point. To end it, everything that is a part of her life, right then and there, once and for all. It hadn't felt right one bit. Every time the disapproving face had visualized itself in her mind. So similar to her own but with much softer features. Until it came to her that maybe that was the only way to honor this face. To reject the cowardish way. To keep on suffering.

"Honestly, I'd rather stay away from this shit but we all do things that we have to do, right?" Lightning watched as the Pulsian sighed heavily, finally letting go of any remains of empathy. With that, her expression darkened somewhat. "To protect our home." With that sentence, Fang's voice then adopted a more serious, hard-bitten timbre. It was verging on accusatory and one glance into her eyes confirmed all of that. "To protect our family." Fang's eyes narrowed hostile on Lightning. This woman made it clear that the safety of her family was fundamental for her. Clearly, she wouldn't hesitate to do anything to guarantee it. _Message received. I respect that._ To tell the truth, Lightning could relate to Fang in this case… if only she hadn't messed up so badly.

"Ya want to protect yours too, right?"Lightning stayed silent. The woman had clearly no idea. "I understand and I don't blame ya."Fang's understanding didn't seem to change anything in her demeanor. She might understand, still, she wouldn't weaver to protect her world at any cost. _Priorities_.

The woman seemed to hesitate before her next words but they came out anyway. "I shouldn't say that but… just between ya and me…"A shadow of smirk crawled back on the brunette's face."I guess I can trust you with keeping that for yourself." Lightning glared at her. _. Very funny_ …

"Some of your friends have already started talkin'. It's no use tryin' so hard to stay silent. Soon we'll know what we need anyway." Lightning's heart rate quickened in irritation. She wondered if the woman was telling the truth or if she was bluffing. Either way, it wouldn't surprise her. Being a team player was never her best quality at all. She was a lone wolf. Working alone made her most effective. That's because she could never fully trust anyone. _If you want things done right, you do them yourself._ Life taught her that. The only person she could count on was herself and the life stubbornly kept reminding her about it. She cursed the people who made her arrange the team this time. The team that she didn't trust anyway.

"Is it really worth the pain?" The woman brought back her attention with a question. _Worth the pain? Tch… The pain doesn't matter to me…_ There was hardly anything that mattered for her these days. She needed to stay consistent though. Cocoon's safety should matter for her so she held on to that thought, insisting that it does, so she could stay sane.

"All in all, ya asked for it…" The woman's irritation was obvious now as she crossed her arms on her chest. "Bloody Cocoonians… Sneakin' into our territory…" She scoffed with disgust. "Why can't ya just leave us be?!" The honest anger and incomprehension in Fang's eyes took her off guard. For a moment there, she wasn't sure if she heard right. The initial confusion quickly gave place to anger starting to boil her blood. _Leave you be?! Oh no, you're not going to play the victim now, and not with me of all people._

"Us and Gran Pulse as a whole." The brunette wasn't going to drop the accusatory tone and hostile glare anytime soon, which only aroused more of internal protest in the prisoner.

 _This has been your people threatening Cocoon's safety for decades!_

"Ya Cocoonian vipers have odd satisfaction in meddlin' with everythin'." Fang's agitation started slowly turning into disgust. "I saw what ya're doin'." The Pulsians eyes were full of scorn but Lightning was at a loss here. She didn't follow what the other woman had in mind so she waited warily for further accusations. "Starts with innocent takin' samples of the wildlife here. Then ya modify them."

Lightning watched closely the growing aversion and hater on Fang's face. She was clearly being protective of Gran Pulse as a whole. Her words… did ring a bell, somewhat… Fang couldn't be much wrong there, she knew that. Sampling Gran Pulse was no secret to her and also those on Coccon so that they can thrive. _You need to know your enemy to protect yourself properly._ Everybody knew that and it made a perfect sense. However, she was aware that something odd was going on in the Weapon Development Department – an inseparable part of Public Security and Intelligence Command – commonly called the gem of PSICOM. She wasn't supposed to be aware. It was classified, the highest level of security way beyond her permissions back then. Nabaat's department to be exact. As much as she wasn't supposed to, she started digging, from her personal sheer hatred towards Nabaat. The issue fell out of the picture quickly, though, as her own life shattered into pieces.

"I saw your version of behemoth. Ya breed them like pets." Lightning never reached deep enough but that wasn't unexpected... What she found out was just the tip of the iceberg and Jihl Nabaat was capable of anything. "It's half as fierce as the original and ya still cannot control it... even with that 'electric collar'." Lightning eyes grew wider, just for a tiny moment. If there were any field tests she should have known about it... It made her wonder just how far-reaching Nabaat's experiments really were at the end of it all. Luckily for Lightning, Fang was much too agitated to notice that little shift in her expression.

"Don't forget that we all grew up 'ere. Ya're not goin' to conquer us just by weaponizin' Gran Pulse beasts."

 _Conquer you?_ This woman was either insolent or completely kept in the dark. _Tch... This was never about conquering anything. It's Pulse threatening us with the invasion ever since I can remember. It's your people questioning me now, not mine raiding your villages! They want the answers that would specifically endanger Cocoon as a whole. I'm not letting any savage into my home… I'm not giving you anything._

"What ya're doin' in your labs is just sick." She couldn't argue with that… assuming that Fang was telling the truth. However, she could understand the reasons. Fear is the greatest motivator and her people were living in fear for too long.

"Now ya're back for the wyverns, huh?" The realization of what Fang's words really meant hit her immediately. _Fucking wimps!_ Fang wasn't lying earlier. Some of her squadmates had to spill already. _That's how it ends when they force you to take some rookies._ This time, she didn't try to contain her irritation too much. The world proved her again that trust was a weakness. She was the only one she could trust and she was glad that, this time, she kept her squadmates blind…

"Oh? I see that rings a bell." Fang smiled ominously, satisfied with herself. Taking the Cocoonians irritation as a confirmation. That's exactly what Lightning hoped to get out of Fang. The huntress wasn't finished with her yet though. She put her hands on her hips and started eyeing the prisoner suspiciously. "But tell me Light… somethin' doesn't add up here, does it? Wyvern's nestin' ground is a pretty long way from 'ere. So your intel was tremendously inaccurate… unless somethin' unexpected made you end up in this place… or… there is somethin' else completely that ya were up to…" Fang continued watching her for some more time but couldn't read anything more. Finally, she sighed heavily and came back to her seat. "Either way, your little expedition is over now."

The 'conversation' was over as well. Fang stayed silent until the end of her shift. That gave Lightning time to think about her words. To wonder if that was another attempt on the Gran Pulsian's end to make her weaver. Whatever the reason - Fang was doing it on purpose or she was just being honest - it didn't matter in the end. Light's mind was set and there wasn't any field for negotiations. She was going to get out of this place or die silent. The first one was preferable but the second one, for some reason, felt oddly acceptable…

A chill run up Lightning's back as she remembered her earlier dream. The dead eyes looking back at her. The same dead eyes that were hunting her in her dreams since she had seen them for the first time, from the inside out.

XXX

 **A phone in Lightning's pocket buzzed for the third time. She picked up, assuming that someone wasn't going to give up after the previous two failed attempts of whoever it was trying to contact her.**

 **"Yes, sir?" She asked in a low voice, keeping her eyes on the building she was observing for quite a time now.**

 **"Farron, we're withdrawing you. Pack your things and…"**

 **"What?" Lightning cut him off. Suddenly, the target which was occupying her attention exclusively fell off the radar. The phone in her hand was the main focus then, as bewilderment slowly started turning into anger. "Are kidding me? Give me two more days and you'll have the problem dealt with. Silently." She forced herself to stay calm and reason with her superior. Her eyes involuntarily came back to the previous place of interest, denying what she was asked for, hoping that things would get back on the track.**

 **"We need you back in Bodhum. A local team will take over this case."The situations like this were the ones she hated most. All her hard work trashed away in one second. _What a waste of time…_**

 **Time was of the most precious currency. She had been giving up so many things in her life to get more of it and sleep was the most trivial of them all. She needed the time to talk her sister out of that insane idea of marrying Snow. Their previous conversation hadn't gone as planned as she would have liked… _But now, when the emotions quietened somewhat, Serah would clearly listen to reason…_ She only needed to get things done here and then she would find time to talk some sense into her sister.**

 **"This is ridiculous. I'm not…"Lightning started to protest. Taking her off this case, after she had already done some decent job here, was beneficial to no one if she were honest here. They would have to start this mission from scratch again.**

 **"This is an order, sergeant. Your train leaves in an hour, understood?" Amodar was getting clearly exasperated and his voice adopted peremptory edge. If she learned one thing about the military, that would be its incontestable hierarchy. No matter how much she hated that, falling in line was the only option that didn't lead to disaster. Thus, a quiet ' _yes, sir'_ , muttered through the clenched teeth, was just enough and exactly enough to finish the discussion.**

 **XXX**

 **Lightning knocked at the door but was too pissed to wait for an invitation. She came in and closed the door behind a little too loudly.**

 **"Sir." Her salute was regardless and hasty, as the next words were eager to come out of her mouth. "Permission to speak freely?" The anger was fuming out of her as she impatiently waited for his answer.**

 **"Take a seat, please."Lieutenant Amodar pointed at the chair opposite the desk he was sitting at and turned a deaf ear on her she - ignored his command and started to externalize her irritation.**

 **"I was there for days and when I was almost done you just…"**

 **"Sit down, Farron." Amodar cut her off, this time his voice was much more strained and imperative. Lightning looked at him angrily, evaluating how much she can indulge in the discussion.**

 **"Tch…" She huffed and crossed her arms in irritation. "I'm better off standing." The answer might not be conforming, but she dropped the earlier topic and just watched the Lieutenant, waiting for whatever he had to say.**

 **The man rubbed his brows tiredly. A heavy sigh left his mouth before he put his forearms back on the desk and laced his fingers. His straightened back and serious gaze locked at the woman before, gave him an all-professional, solemn look. It made her irritation subdue and concern started taking over.**

 **"I'm not good in this kind of matter, so I'm not going to beat around the bush." The graveness in his voice only made the frown on the woman's forehead deepen. "There was an accident." He started without severing eye contact. "We need you to identify two of the bodies. Potential deceased are Snow and Serah Villiers."**


	6. 5 Don't bite the hand that feeds you

Hey all. Just lately I've realized that sometimes removes some random short fragments of text... That's weird as shit... I'll try to fix these little bugs whenever I see them but can't promise I'll find them all. Just wanted to let you know that if you're confused sometimes it's not always my fault :P

Big thanks to my beta - LadyWolvie82

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 **5\. Don't bite the hand that feeds you**

"Argh…" A subdued grunt escaped Lightning's throat. Luckily for her, the nearest guard was ignoring her completely. She clenched her teeth forcefully and sacrificed all her focus to keep herself breathing. The pain started to subdue very slowly, but it was still blinding all the same. It was radiating from her left palm and it was going all the way up to her shoulder. All her upper body was trembling, starting from her left hand and finishing with the trembling breath she was straining through her teeth. After a few more minutes of this, she lifted one of her eyelids just so the familiar surrounding started to fill her mind again. The one she was slowly getting used to. She turned her head slightly to investigate her hand. A drop of blood fell to the floor. She wasn't sure from which fingertip it oozed. It made no difference to her. They were naked and the blood was slowly seeping from all of them. The nails were no longer there.

Lightning wasn't sure if she was glad that they left the right hand untouched. The words she heard from Caius, somehow, popped up in her mind again. ' _Still plenty of nails you have but many other matters seek my attention today. We shall leave them there for another encounter. I need to excuse myself for now.'_ A chill ran along her back as she thought about the same treatment regarding her right hand. Her skin broke into goosebumps on the thought about her toes. For a moment there she wished they'd finished the job that was started on her. However, when some time passed, her brain started to function properly again. The terrible pain that was now mixed with fear stopped overwhelming her judgment. Its influence on her was getting lesser with every minute as Lightning threw all her mental resources to separate herself from it as far as she could.

The safe place. They always teach you to go with your mind as one into a safe place. To disconnect one's self from the real world and then blanket yourself with a thick layer of comforting memories. The theory was banal. The reality loved to question all of its foundations at many stages whenever given the chance. _What if every potential safe place is corrupted by sorrowful memories?_ That was the starting question.

 **XXX**

 **Claire 'Lightning' Farron entered the house she once shared with her sister. That was nothing fancy but let them live a decent life. With her promising carrier in the military, she could afford it easily.**

 **The living room was cozy. Clearly Serah's touch. Decorating wasn't her strongest point. To tell the truth, she didn't care one bit about it so she thanked Etro for having Serah to make this house _home_. It did look very similar to their old house in many ways if Lightning was honest here. The one they lived in when their parents were still alive… This familiarity was mostly soothing to her, even if it tended to cause some itching nostalgia. On the wall, an old photo of the whole family together. Both sisters looked so young there. Young and… _happy_. **

**_Just when it all went so wrong…?_** **Lightning took a long swig of the golden liquid, delighted at how it was burning her throat and stealing attention from the tight knot inside her. She went further in, into the corridor. Her teeth gritted as she found herself before the door to another room. Serah's one. One more swig of the liquid courage to help her tears from falling. Lightning pressed the handle, slowly not able to stop her heart from growing heavier with every second that passed by. It had already fallen into the pit of her stomach, and was tightly cramped together with all the other insides.**

 **The door creaked in a quiet protest as she pushed them open. She just stood there for a long while, looking inside absently and much longer than she intended. As if she expected her sister to suddenly materialize there in that room, out of nowhere. To smile at her reassuringly and say that this was only some cruel nightmare. Sadly, nothing like that happened. The room stayed as empty as it was, and just as cold.**

 **Lightning walked inside. There was way too much color and fluff for her taste but that was so… _Serah_. It was tidy as always. Waiting for her little sister to come back and rummage through all her things, just for the sake of rearranging the decor.**

 **A small desk occupied the corner near a window. On its surface, there was lying Serah's engagement pendant. One of the little belongings that were recovered from the corpse. The silver globe with its shell partially crushed on the side and a round, polished crystal visible through the hole. The rest of the metal was spiraling down to finish with a pointy end. The image of how Cocoon looked from outside… _from Pulse_.**

 **Lightning gritted her teeth, reaching for the very pendant but somehow stopped her hand just before touching it. Her eyes filled with tears and she took back her hand abruptly as if the cold, silver surface was to burn her fingertips. Lightning then took another swig from the bottle and almost choked, as the liquid hardly squeezed through her now tightened throat. She balled her fists and took a few steps back as the angry, desperate tears started flowing down her face.**

 **"Damn you, Snow…" She muttered to herself, trying to convince herself that what had happened was all his fault. Trying to find someone to blame for what had happened. Anyone, so she wouldn't have to carry the blame all alone. Of course, she was angry with him. If he hadn't proposed, her sister would have been still alive today. This damn proposal started the avalanche of mistakes that shattered her young life. She was angry with the whole world, but that was just a shallow escape from just how much she was angry with herself.**

 **Lightning withdrew from the room as her denial completely faded, and the fear of grim reality started to kick in again. The overwhelming regret threatened to suffocate her from the inside out if anything. She needed some fresh air… She just couldn't… She would rather drink herself unconscious, wake up with a killing hangover, in an unknown place than spend another night in this house. Completely alone. Vulnerable to all the haunting memories that were feeding on her grief.**

 **XXX**

 **Two weeks earlier.**

 **"You're telling me that you're sick, the docs have no idea what it is and now you're going to marry this idiot?" Lightning asked, her voice rising involuntarily with every word that came out of her mouth throughout that statement. Her younger sister was just standing there before her, pinned to the floor under the sergeant's increasingly agitated stare, all the confidence drained out of her by her older sister. The table which was separating two sisters didn't seem to be enough. Even with the obstacle between, Serah couldn't help but feel intimidated and afraid. "Additionally, you don't have your medical record?" She could barely control her breathing at that point when she added. "And you think I'll buy that?!"**

 **"Sis…" Serah took a step back looking up at her sister with fear. She assumed that the conversation might be harsh. Lightning had always been stern, or at least since they had been left alone, so Serah didn't expect cheers and congratulations. Especially if it came to Snow. To say that the older Farron didn't like him much was an understatement. To her, he was just an irresponsible, overweening moron who was chummy from the get-go. Arrogant to the letter, and convinced that he's everyone's pal. Everything her sister despised, still, Serah didn't expect such a severe reaction and the lack of trust.**

 **"You thought that I'd take pity on you and give you my blessing or what?" Anger was quickly growing in Lightning. She couldn't understand how could they come up with an idea like that. Sure, she wouldn't agree for this marriage anyway. Serah was too young and she simply deserved someone better than this half-witted rascal. She had to admit that Guardian Corps were mostly turning a blind eye for the little offenses of his"NORA" gang as they tried to help people. They were playing heroes and didn't do much harm, however, that was risky and irresponsible in their eyes. Lightning was convinced that NORA's unauthorized ' _help_ ' would get someone killed someday."Full points for originality, but from what I see the only thing contagious here is his stupidity!"**

 **"Lightning, stop it! Why don't you believe her?" Snow leaned on the table to drew Lightning's attention to himself. He was trying to shield Serah, seeing the tears that started to collect in her eyes and Lightning's obdurate demeanor.**

 **"No, you stop it!" Lightning slammed her hands at the table, confronting him without hesitation. Her plan to keep ignoring him, for his own good, shattered into pieces. They were at each other's throats now."She tells you she's sick and you pop the question?! Are you kidding me?!"**

 **"She's your sister! You're shutting her out!" Snow pushed on. This pile of muscles had clearly no self-preservation instinct. Surprisingly, Lightning said nothing to that, his words strangely accurate to this specific situation. For the past few years, she'd become an expert at shutting people out one way or another. Her lips pressed into a tight line when she pushed away from the table before glaring at him. He had no idea, but Lightning clearly had no intention of enlightening him. Instead, she crossed her arms with exasperation and averted her eyes turning to the side.**

 **"Tch… This is ridiculous." She said finally after a few moments to think it over. This time, only a cold distaste was present in her voice. Nothing like her earlier yell at the pair."She's barely 18. You're both big children!"**

 **"You're not much older yourself, Lightning." Encouraged by the little shift in Lightning's demeanor, Snow had no intention to give up on this. However, no one should strain his luck so much if it came for Lightning Farron. Indeed, that was too much. Her eyes widened in shock for a mere second then they narrowed hostile and focused on the tall, fair-haired intruder who dared to compare her to himself.**

 **"Get out of my house." The uncompromising order came out more like a snarl than one anticipated. Way more forceful than she'd learned during her military training, exactly as forceful as she intended.**

 **Technically, Snow was right but he understood nothing. The age difference between them was no more than three years, Lightning was only 21 but she felt as if the whole ages passed since the carefree childhood. She was still a teenager when their mom died and they were left alone. She had to throw away all her childhood in an instant and grow up fast. For Serah. She had to take care of her younger sister and there was no place for any second thoughts. Any sign of weakness, her selfishness, her fear, her loneliness all of these little parts of herself cut away and forgotten. Only hard work, strictness, rationality and responsibility were worth anything and she hadn't had years to learn that. She had been thrown into the deep end and had to catch up quickly. The only way to take control of her life had been to control her emotions, so she had been trying ever since.**

 **Snow took a few steps back, ready to leave but then Serah's hand slipped shyly into his.**

 **"And you stay." Lightning demanded from her sister when her eyes slowly traveled from their entwined hands to Serah's face. "I expect to see your medical record by tomorrow." The deadline was strict but Serah brought it on herself."Besides, we still have some talking to do."**

 **"No…" Serah breathed quietly, clearly afraid to stand her ground but doing it anyway. If there was one thing that Lightning taught her it was stubbornness and determination in getting to her goal. And Snow was someone she wasn't going to give up easily, even if she had to stand up to her sister. "I'm going with Snow."**

 **"Serah, we aren't finished there. If you leave now…" Lightning's floating in anger mind tried to find some potent threat. Anger was one of these emotions she had always trouble to stifle, though, she couldn't afford to overstep here. "Tch… If you leave, I'm not going to wait until you get smarter. I'm going back to the base first train in the morning so don't bother with coming back."**

 **The tears, that had been hanging in Serah's eyes since the beginning of their fight, finally fell down her cheeks. She said nothing more and stormed out of the room.**

 **"Tch…" Lightning huffed with disappointment seeing her sister leave their home, and Snow running after her. "Worst birthday ever."**

 **Lightning was thoroughly disappointed with Serah. The lie about some unidentified sickness… She just could believe that. She refused to. _How could she?_ Lightning asked herself trying to scatter the painful memories. _After what mom went through when we were kids… how can she make jokes like that?_ Their mother had been bed-ridden for weeks with cancer, before passing away. They both saw her weakening day after day, crippling before their eyes hour after hour, waiting for death to take her.**

 **Lightning's greatest fear for all these years was to see Serah fade away the same way, being slowly taken from her. Prevention became one of the main focuses of her life. She couldn't let Serah slip away, it was her responsibility to take care of the Farron family. Both herself and her sister. So the regular checkups became a permanent point of their lives and since Lightning was Serah's legal guardian, she had full access to her medical record. _They would inform me if anything was wrong… unless…_ Serah was of legal age now, they had no longer any obligation to inform Lightning. _But why would Serah… no, it's illogical… she wouldn't dare to sign me off the first contact list._**

 **Lightning let out a heavy breath. On the counter was lying a neatly packaged birthday gift. She untied a ribbon with a sour mine. Inside there was an ornamented folding knife. She took it out and unfolded the blade easily.**

 **"How practical."**

 **To tell the truth, she didn't mind practical presents, they were much better than totally useless, various adornments. Although, nothing would lighten her foul mood that day. First Serah making up this pitiful story, then leaving the house with Snow. That stung Lightning like hell. Still, she preferred it this way. She preferred to believe that her sister lied to her than believe that she actually was ill. That possibility was banished from her mind.**

 **XXX**

Lightning's stomach grumbled on the mere thought of food. The greenish goo they were giving her was one of the most disgusting things she had ever eaten before and still, her stomach grumbled. The smell was completely repulsive. To make things worse, the consistency of slime was making it equally easy to swallow and to go back up the same way immediately. It had almost happened to her first _meal_ here. The swallowing triggered the immediate gag reflex, but somehow, she was able to fight it and push the very goo back down her throat. Getting used to this delicacy wasn't so simple as some would think. It seemed to get even worse with every next swallow. She had never been so concentrated while eating before. The fact that she had never before considered the process of eating to be the battle with her own stomach, it explained her focus a lot.

However, what alternative did she really have here? Lightning was getting weaker with every shift of guards, she was aware of that much. She could feel the strength slowly leaving her body, bit by bit. If she stopped eating, she would be completely drained in no time and still she wasn't ready to give up just yet. Her chances of escape were declining exponentially. Eating _this thing_ was a crucial point of the saving energy strategy, so she decided to adapt in order to survive.

A quiet rumble could be heard and there it was. Her dinner was being carried her way by one of her usual guards. A female this time. One of three that were watching over her from time to time. This one would be a middle ground. She definitely wasn't a chatter, but she would exchange a few words with the other Pulsians whenever her shift was starting or ending. Sometimes she would even throw a word or two towards Lightning. Nothing significant, just some froth.

The other one had never even uttered a word, at least in Lightning's presence. She didn't mind that at all, she liked it quiet and most of her guardians were rather silent. She wondered if they were ordered to stay silent around the prisoners. But then, there was the third female guard, Fang. This one wouldn't give her a break. Every time with a new story to tell. Often sarcastic, always curious, asking questions and getting no answer. Than guessing the answer and watching, trying to decipher Lightning's reaction. Every time the same cycle. _So annoying._ Moreover, staying impassive to Fang's rambling was draining from her far too much energy. She really needed to strain badly to look back into her piercing, watchful green eyes and show her nothing in return. However, the most irritating thing was that the woman was getting excited whenever Lightning faltered and the tiniest shadow of reaction ran through her face. In these cases, she wanted nothing more but wipe the smug smile from Fang's face.

Fortunately, this time it wasn't Fang that was watching her. The woman that was guarding the pinkette was rather short and slim but Lightning could easily see her muscles move under her skin with every move that was made. Her looks might be deceiving to some at face value, but surely she had to be quite a deft fighter. Every time there were throwing knives attached to her belt but so far Lightning didn't have any occasion to reach one of them. They tended to free one of her hands during the feed time so she could eat on her own but they were extraordinary cautious after she had almost run away.

The woman stopped before her with a bowl full of green slime and looked down. A similar, empty bowl was lying on the ground a little bit further than usually. The woman crouched with a sigh reaching for the bowl and intending to replace it with the full one. While doing so, she turned her back to the prisoner.

Lightning's cerulean eyes glittered. That was one of these moments she was waiting for. Her hands might be still shackled but… _You never turn your back to the enemy._ Lightning put her weight back on the shackles. The adrenaline eased the pain that her wrists protested with. She raised her knees to her chest swiftly but carefully to not make the chain between her ankles rattle. Then just in time when the woman was about to get up, Lightning launched her legs forward. The chain clattered madly alarming the crouching woman but it was too late. She felt the cold metal wrapping around her neck. She tried to pull forward but was yanked back forcefully. Lightning crossed her legs, tightening loop around the woman's throat so she had no chance to escape. The woman's hands clutched on the chain instinctively, trying to free herself but the knot was too tight, she wasn't able to get her fingertips beneath or loosen it anyhow. The air was no longer flowing through her air duct.

Lightning let out a hoarse noise from her throat. The noise was meant to be the word 'keys'. It didn't resemble it at all. After such a long time of not using her voice, it refused to work properly. Still, the woman seemed to understand her… or that wasn't so hard to read her mind then. She unbuckled the keys from her belt and shook them above her head, hoping that the ringing sound would get the prisoner's attention. Indeed, Lightning's eyes focused on the keys and the excitement flew through her veins. Even if she wasn't able to force the woman to open the shackles, she should be able to pick them from the ground using her legs and put them into her hand. The rest would be a matter of time. However, before she tightened the loop even more, to finally crush her windpipe, something unexpected happened. The woman threw the keys. The time seemed to slow down as Lightning's eyes widened and her mouth opened agape in shock. She watched the quietly rattling keys fly away and land near the opposite wall.

 _Fucking bitch…_ Lightning let out an angry growl and grated her teeth in frustration. Raging in anger, she strained the muscles in her legs determined to choke the devious woman who was getting visibly weaker with every second of oxygen deficiency. _Control your emotions._ Lightning repeated in her head but how was she to control herself when a chance like this slipped through her fingers. She took a cleansing breath.

Finally, the chain loosened just when the guard was about to pass out. She sucked the air greedily, choking and coughing. As quickly as she was able to form a coherent thought, she crawled away from the prisoner's range then she continued to cough and hyperventilate, clutching on reddened skin of her throat. The red trail was clearly visible, even in the dim light and it would stay there for hours at least before it'd start bruising.

Breathing was clearly giving the scrawny guardian a lot of trouble. Some time passed before she eventually managed to stop choking and turned her gaze to stare at the pink-haired prisoner. Lightning was standing there, shackled, completely impassive as if nothing occurred minutes earlier. The only indications were the small trickles of blood oozing from her wrists and flowing lazily up to her elbows. Her wounds opened up again from the strain. _That all for nothing._ Lightning was frustrated. Everything was going according to the plan until… she underestimated the guardian's dedication. _I should have snapped her neck right away! I would have time to retrieve this key from her body somehow._ Eventually, with the key thrown far away, there was no point in killing the woman. Oh, her temper was urging her to do so, but she let the woman go. _Killing her would only bring me more trouble._

The guard, finally, got up from her knees and picked up the bunch of keys. Then she turned towards Lightning and approached her.

"Nice try..." She started with a hoarse voice."It might have worked with one of you Cocoonian pussies, but don't forget… you are on Gran Pulse." She smirked keeping a safe gap between the two of them. On the ground, there was still half-filled bowl with the green goo. The rest of it was decorating the stones nearby, splashed there during the struggle. The woman picked the bowl up, cautious this time to keep the distance from the prisoner.

"You are quite vivid today, I bet you're not hungry." Then she got closer, using her foot to pin the chain between Lightning's ankles to the ground and poured contents of the bowl on Cocoonian's head. She dropped the bowl to the ground and took a step back to admire her work.

"I could have gone harder on you. Take it as a thank you for not having enough guts to finish 'this'." She rubbed the injured skin at her throat and backed off no longer interested in the prisoner.

Lightning, in turn, didn't consider it 'going easy on her'. The smell of the goo was torturous and she was now bathed in it. If there was a possibility to kill someone with smell alone, that would do. She isolated her nose and started to breathe through the mouth. _It's not the kind of death I signed up for._


	7. 6 The Hell

Hi. Another chapter coming your way. With a crossover guest making an appearance here ;)

Big thanks to LadyWolvie82.

Enjoy!

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 **6\. The Hell**

"What is that thin' doin' here?"

Lightning recognized that voice immediately, as quick as her namesake if she felt like it. Fang was back. She couldn't see her just yet but there was no mistaking this voice with any other that's been heard up to this moment. She had to admit that she started wondering where Fang was. At least ten shifts passed since she had seen her last time and that was unusual. Fang was one of the regulars in her cell so no wonder Lightning was concerned. No, not concerned, more like puzzled.

"New safety measures." Another guard answered her.

"Seriously?!" Lightning heard Fang ask the question: partially amused, partially annoyed and the Pulsian, finally, appeared in her field of view."Is that really necessary?" She asked again when the metal bars creaked and clanked against the stone.

"You know this by now Fang, orders."

"Uh-huh…" Fang made an acknowledging grumble and put her hand on her hip, looking with dissatisfaction in the direction, where another guard had to be. "And now you're gonna tell me that I'm not gettin' the key to this lock." She indicated on the bars that were separating the two Pulsians.

"Yup. Only someone from outside can let you out."

"This is just overkill now..." She raised her hands in surrender baffled by the, in her honest opinion, unnecessary precautions.

"What now, Fang? You're afraid to be closed with her?" Lightning could easily hear the mocking in man's voice. Somehow and someway, it pleased her. At least she wouldn't be the only one mocked this day.

"Ha! Good one." Fang answered with a laugh and threw the red spear on her shoulder to casually hang a hand over it. The movement was clearly instinctive. She had to do it countless times and know her spear's weight and length to a T to find the perfect balance without thinking.

"Ya've seen that, Light?" Fang turned in Lightning's direction as if the prisoner was to answer anything. "They've put the bars here!"

 _Here it comes…_ A corner of Lightning's mouth twitched in amusement. She could afford this. The distance and dimness would cover for her. _And where do you think I was when they were mounting it?_

She heard Fang's long sigh and saw her coming closer, putting the spear on the rack in the meantime. She fell on the sturdy chair with a groan and threw her legs on the table casually.

Lightning had to fight the urge to roll her eyes or shook her head in bewilderment, but still, the tiny bit of amusement wouldn't leave her if it had the chance. She couldn't get that woman. _Not a single care in the world..._ There was that lightness in her movements as if nothing really mattered. She was so carefree that it felt inappropriate as hell in the given situation. Lightning always considered this kind of behavior irresponsible and immature. She despised it. That's why she also despised Fang in some way but, on the other hand, she also respected her. Despite all the carefreeness currently on display, Fang was also extremely watchful and aware of her surroundings. She tended to connect facts quickly and from her build and reflexes, she had to be hell of a fighter. It was impossible for all these things to go in pair with her heedless demeanor. That woman was a living oxymoron and was making the Cocoonian feel conflicted. Somewhere deep in her subconscious, Lightning might even feel just a little bit envious of Fang's… weightlessness. The very same weightlessness that she hadn't experienced since her early childhood.

"So tell me Lightnin'." Fang tipped her head, boring her curious eyes into Lightning's."Ya had to give them trouble since they've decided to lock this chamber up." She said with an amused smile matching the tone of her voice."They've never done this before so ya can be proud of yourself." Her lips curved slightly in a sarcastic smile. "Made them enforce such the excessive measures…" Fang clicked her tongue with mocking disapproval. "I'm gone for maybe… what, four days? And everythin' goes haywire."

 _Four days…_ Lightning made a mental note _. That would give two or three shifts for a day_. Thanks to that, she should be able to make an estimate of how much time passed since she had been caught by those guards. Maybe inaccurate but still better than nothing.

"Anyway, I'm grateful I could escape from here for a while. It's always good to stretch your legs." She said stretching leisurely on the chair with a big yawn. Then her eyes came back to the Cocoonian and a corner of her lips rose slightly. "I bet ya missed me here."

 _Tch… there she goes again…_ Lightning started to wonder if it was Fang who missed her prisoner and not the other way round. She wondered if through these four days Fang was somewhere there thinking about coming back here and messing with her again. Oh, messing with her was certainly giving the huntress a lot of satisfaction and… fun.

"But don't worry, I did what I had to and now I'm all yours." She winked at the shackled woman who stayed unruffled by the flirty comment. She learned to ignore them completely. It was just a part of this woman's personality. Fang didn't really try to achieve anything by flirting with her. It was just her default attitude, the part of who Fang was. Or scratch that… The only thing Fang was trying to achieve was to annoy the soldier. It had been working for some time but then Lightning learned to turn the blind eye and it stopped being so effective.

"I needed to regulate the population of ceratoraptors near the springs not far from here, in case ya wondered."

 _I didn't…_ But then Lightning realized it was only a half-truth. She did kind of wonder where Fang was. Still, it had nothing to do with missing the Oerban or whatever. The absence was a break in the pattern and that was nothing particular about it that Lightning noticed. To be honest, it was good she did. It meant she was still thinking clearly despite slowly losing hope and motivation to get out of this place.

"That wouldn't be necessary if some moron didn't brin' them here from the northern swamps. They should have never crossed the mountains… They don't have their usual natural enemies here so they are multiplyin' in a crazy pace, swarmin' the springs. The problem is that the local environment here was thrown off-balance by them. Many species, that have lived peacefully here for ages are endangered now. Someone screwed up big time, and we have to clean the mess every year." She sighed tiredly staring into ceiling contemplatively. "The worst part is that we have to slay hundreds of them and they aren't really useful to us in any way. We can't eat them, their flesh is inedible, their skin smells and there is no way to get rid of the scent. All we can extract is venom-bag. The poison is quite potent, healers can also put it to some good use. Ya know, they say that the difference between medicine and poison is the dose. Who am I to question that?" She shrugged unconcernedly. "Anyway, we don't need that much and we have to burn the remains. We don't want carcass lyin' everywhere. Especially so close to the sweet water source. We definitely wouldn't want any contamination there."

Lightning wasn't sure why the Oerban was telling her all of this, let alone _any_ of this. Well, they were closed there for hours with completely nothing to do. That might suggest an answer. To tell the truth, Lightning didn't really mind it unless Fang was mocking her in some form, et cetera. From Fang, she had already learned more about Gran Pulse than during her entire routine of preparations for the mission. And she was convinced she'd done that thoroughly. This world was completely different than her own and she was taken aback by just how little Cocoonians really knew about it.

"I wonder if ya have problems like that on Cocoon…" Fang's eyes got thoughtful for a moment. The process of searching an answer didn't take her long though. "Naah… I doubt it. I can't even see any green patches on your planet. I wouldn't be surprised if ya had no wildlife at all."

Well, Fang wasn't far from the truth. There was only one place on Cocoon which held any wildlife. The Sunleth Waterscape. A nature reserve. The one and only on Cocoon. The access there was restricted enough to the point where most people of Cocoon, including Lightning, had never seen it anyway.

"Etro… it made me think about what ya eat. It doesn't really look like ya're farmin'." She looked at Lightning perplexed, trying to figure out this problem as well. "Ya do need to eat somethin'… right?" A little unsure tone at the end of the sentence took Lightning off guard. That was amusing and she barely suppressed the corners of her mouth from twitching up. The question was so absurd that she actually felt a smallish, itching desire to answer. She dismissed it immediately, of course. _And who do you think we are? Of course, we need to eat... Though, our 'farming' is a little… different from the one you know about._

The two planets were completely different in every respect. They both needed their people to adapt in various ways and so they did. Growing apart centuries after centuries until the common ground between the two nations was so distant that they could no longer comprehend each other's needs and purposes.

Lightning was sure that Fang, who was sitting there with her hands crossed and a solicitous frown on her face, considered Cocoon a hell. So strange and unfamiliar, just like Pulse for her own people. The saying that Pulse, the infamous 'World Below', was a living hell was repeated among her people so many times over the years, that even the smallest children knew that. No one ever dared to question its authenticity. _For some people hell but for the others safe harbor_. The subjectivity behind the word 'hell' was shattering.

 _A lie repeated thousand times eventually becomes truth._

She was surprised that no one else but Sazh came to her mind then. This old man had an enormous impact on her life and yet she knew nothing about what had happened with him. She wondered if his life was just as _hellish_ as her own. The last time she saw him, it wasn't promising at all.

XXX

 **"The big day today, huh?" Sazh's voice reached her from the entrance to the old locker room. He was standing there propped against the door frame. He didn't often show up down there but this time she expected to see him.**

 **"Yeah… big day." She had never been the most enthusiastic person in the world but that day the pressure was weighing at her more than usually. This fight was all she had been waiting for. If she won, they wouldn't have to worry about money. Assuming that they were frugal, Lightning would be able to finish school and find some full-time job before running out of cash. If she lost, she would have to stay in this business for a while. _As though Serah wasn't giving me a hard time about it…_**

 **The muffled cheers and shouts from outside broke into the room.**

 **"Looks like the crowd is warming up." Sazh said pointing behind his back with his thumb. Finally, he let out a long sigh and came inside to sit next to Lightning. "Listen, this is the fight of the night… geez… rather the fight of the month. Everyone is excited. The crowd will demand blood today."**

 **"You think I don't know that?" She asked rather grimly, finishing to tie the laces of her shoes. Lightning wasn't born yesterday and she watched a few top fights. During them, the crowd was much more numerous and vivid. The bets tended to reach enormous sums so the spectators were restless. She didn't need Sazh to come and remind her about it.**

 **"Fuck them." He said solemnly and meet with Lightning's perplexed look. "You don't need to satisfy their bloodlust."**

 **"I'm not going to give this fight up, if that's what you're asking." Lightning got up to her feet, still suspicious about Sazh's intentions.**

 **"Easy, tiger. I'm just saying that too many people got carried away in fights like this. So keep your head cool and just do your job. No excessive violence, understood?"**

 **Lightning nodded solemnly. She was fine with this phantom of rules. As long as the other one respected it too.**

 **"That works both ways, right?"**

 **"Don't you worry." Sazh winked at her trying to hearten the fighter. "She already knows that. It's not her first top fight."**

 **"Right…" Lightning knew that too and didn't need any reminder this time as well. Her opponent remained unbeaten for a long time so people were getting more and more excited with every win.**

 **"When you feel the fight is over, then it's over. No matter if that's you or her on the floor. I don't want to see any of you hurt…" Sazh frowned realizing how doubtable it sounded in the given context. "I mean like 'irreversibly hurt'."**

 **"I got it, Sazh. No bloodshed. Fine with me." She answered matter-of-factly and wondered if she really saw a sign of relief on Sazh's bothered face.**

 **"Good." The man got up to his feet satisfied with the outcome. "So now I can only wish you good luck in _The Hell_."**

 **"I don't believe in luck…" She started but it was no reason to take it out on the man. All in all, he helped her a lot… even if not everyone would agree with that. "… but thanks anyway." She added to soften her answer.**

 **"Ha! That's my girl!" He pointed at her cheerfully and left.**

 **"Certainly not…" She grumbled under her nose but smiled at his pretended enthusiasm.**

 **He didn't yet leave Light's earshot when she heard his whine. "Poor me… I'm too old for this job."**

 **Not long after, she heard the speaker's voice.**

 **"Welcome to _THE HELL_!" The audience responded with enthusiastic cheers. "In today's fight of the night, we'll see the zippy Lightning! Who paved her path to the top in a truly stormy way!" The speaker said to the delight of the crowd and to the displeasure of Lightning herself. _So embarrassing…_ "Let's welcoooome LIGHTNIIIING!"**

 **She sighed and entered the arena. The deafening noise of people cheering and shouting some unidentified strings of words towards her rose like a tidal wave, intensifying the feeling of uneasiness that was inside of her. She didn't greet the crowd in any way. By then, they had already got used to being ignored by her. Lightning seemed always completely focused on the task before her. This time wasn't different as she was just standing there warming her wrists up and waiting calmly for her opponent to show up.**

 **"Lightning has aspirations to the crown today but let's see what her opponent has to say about that. Welcooome our beloved, unbeaten Queeeeeeen of The Hell!"**

 **If Lightning thought that cheers during her entry were loud she didn't know how to call that. The speaker's voice was swallowed by loud thumping and all kinds of noises merging with each other and adding to the feral turmoil. It increased even more as another woman appeared in the arena waving at the spectators with a smile and sending them a wink.**

 **Well, Lightning definitely wasn't a favorite here at this point. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to distance herself from all the noises and distractors.**

 **"Right." She muttered under her nose and reopened her eyes with newfound determination and focused entirely on the woman before her. The Queen already finished greeting with the crowd and turned her attention to Lightning. There was still a small smile on her face but she was much more serious and concentrated than a moment ago. She took out the black leather gloves. They were matching the rest of her black leather garment, which included zip-up short vest, knee-long shorts, a cape hanging from the back of her waist, and simple black sneakers.**

 **She pulled the gloves on her palms, balled them into fists and took a fighting stance, keeping her brown eyes at Lightning all this time. Her long, black hair falling freely behind her shoulders and reaching mid-back.**

 ** _Let's get this over with._** **Lightning readied herself at that point, waiting for a starting signal and then it came.**

 **The Queen rushed immediately towards Lightning, who didn't intend to stand in place as well. She expected this fight to be fast-paced anyway. Luckily, she was watchful during her approach and noticed that little shift of balance just before they reached each other. The Queen dropped to the floor, trying to make use of the momentum of them both to slide tackle the pretender to the crown. Lightning reacted just in time jumping up and pulling her knees up to the chest, making a somersault in the air. She managed to keep her balance perfectly during landing as if she had done it thousands of times. However, she ended up her back to the opponent and knew that this one would like to exploit that immediately. Her head barely turned only to see a high kick already flying in its direction. Her hand raised instinctively blocking the kick that might lay her out in the first few seconds of the fight. Though, Lightning didn't intend to let her call the shots here. Her position and the fact the other one's balance wavered was making a perfect opportunity to surprise her with a spinning punch and… BAM. It connected. She tried to go ahead and follow the blow with one of her famous right hooks. These could stagger even the biggest men. However, she might be too eager to finish this fight early, as the woman shook it off quickly and leaned back.**

 **Lightning's fist missed her by mere inches. The brunette was quick to exploit her opponent's slightly off-balanced position. She grabbed the pinkette's right shoulder and pulled it to the left. That combined with a strong low kick to the left ankle made the ground shove off from under Lightning's feet. All she could do before falling was to push off the ground with her right leg. She managed to twist herself in the air and lean her hand on the ground. It wasn't perfect but she got enough momentum to make a poor one-hand handspring and land at the safe, two steps distance from her opponent. At least she was still standing, though, the distance wasn't safe at all. The black-haired woman was already at her, throwing a punch that Lightning almost managed to elude. Almost. It barely grazed her jaw but it gave a premise of how a full-blown punch could feel if it sat perfectly at her face.**

 **Lightning faltered slightly and jumped backward to regain some control but the woman was following her step by step, throwing punches. It was almost impossible to keep up with dodging them and Lightning was in trouble, forced to go backward more and more. Until her back hit the metal net that was separating them from the viewers. It disrupted her for a split second but that was enough for a quick jab to land on her jaw. She recovered quickly. Fortunately, the jab wasn't as strong as the following punch that she managed to block. Lightning could swear that this woman had fists made of steel. It hurt even to block her heavy punches and she wasn't really bigger than Lightning.**

 **The pinkette focused on guarding against the rain of various punches, blocking some of them and redirecting the rest, so they would lose all their power or hit the metal net that was furiously driving into her back. No one was able the keep such pace for long so Lightning hoped for any sign of tiredness from her opponent but she could see none. It was like with a wild animal. They always said that when it felt blood it didn't let go until it's over. Well, it seemed like The Queen felt some blood cornering her like that.**

 **Lightning could barely follow that, and soon she realized that she ended up holding her guard too high. A painful punch to her side reminded her about it. Her left elbow automatically went down to cover the sore place but as soon as it moved she knew that was exactly what her opponent was hoping for. Her head exposed with nowhere to run, guard too low to defense it. There was no time to think so she acted on the first thought that came to her mind and lurched forward head butting the surprised woman. That was just in time as the brunette's hand swung around the nape of Light's neck inertly and hooked there. Her blow interrupted before reaching its destination.**

 **The pinkette's forehead was pulsating with pain, but it was no time to think about the bump that was forming there. The slightly staggered woman's arm was still holding her close so Lightning drove her fist into The Queen's stomach. It lessened the grip around her neck and let her free herself pushing the woman away with one hand. Then when the distance between them was half a step Lightning swung a hasty uppercut not letting the opportunity go. It threw the woman's head back and forced her to take two staggering steps back. Lightning could swear she saw her brown eyes go unfocused for a moment so she immediately jumped forward throwing a heavy blow, ready to send her to the ground unconscious.**

 **Her fist was inches from the brunettes face when it came to a sudden stop. She couldn't believe it, the woman caught her fist in her own palm. Her brown eyes were now staring angrily back into the cerulean ones. Very focused this time. She was breathing through her teeth which were clenched in exertion. Blood was slowly flowing from her nostrils onto her upper lip. Her impressive bicep was clearly visible then as both their arms trembled with an effort. Then, without letting go of Lightning's fist, she turned her body slightly and sliced an elbow of the same hand into Light's temple.**

 **It surprised the pinkette as much as the head butting surprised the brunette. She felt a little bit dizzy and was immediately kicked back to put enough distance between them to throw a solid punch. However, from the kick alone she almost fell. The ground was no longer as stable under her feet as it always was. A warm, viscid trickle run down the side of her head and she knew that her brow ridge was cut open.**

 **She barely evaded a strong punch and dived away from a back kick that was following it. The sudden movement didn't help with spinning in her head so she stumbled and realized that she's getting close to the metal net. _Again._ Lightning clenched her teeth in determination and didn't back away this time. _I'm no worse than her…_ And then she caught the woman's fist half-punch. Her wrist immediately protested in pain but it held. It was worth it to see the woman just as astonished as Lightning was moments earlier. A surge of adrenaline run through her body along with a faint dose of excitement. The pinkette shifted her hand slightly so she could get a firm grip on the woman's wrist. Then she pulled her with all her strength and stuck her knee in the brunette's stomach. A groan of pain reached her ears but before Lightning was able to take her leg back, it was circled by a strong hand and restrained. Her eyes widened as she was pushed back and lost her balance completely. And then she was falling. The only thing she managed to do was to throw her right arm over the woman's left shoulder to keep her close during the impact.**

 **Claire's back hit the ground with a loud thud. All the air that was left in her lunges was forced out along with a long whimper of pain. Her eyes widened as she wasn't able to suck the air back in. She felt the other woman fidgeting so she sobered enough to lock her head under her arm, pressing it into the ground. It was draining her strength quickly considering a shallow breath, that was slowly coming back to her in short gasps. However, she couldn't let the woman sit straight on her. That would be over. Lightning was always nimble and it wasn't easy to lay a solid blow on her. The ground game was never her thing though.**

 **The woman kept fidgeting but Lightning was relentless holding her head pressed into the floor. Eventually, she managed to raise the rest of her body enough to expose the pinkette's right side. A punch lied there. Lightning gritted her teeth but then she realized that her left hand was free and the woman's right side similarly exposed as her own. She answered with a punch of her own and then got another one only to answer again. _That's an endurance game now…_**

 **Unfortunately, the woman above her had an advantage of gravity when Lightning had to fight against it. After an exchange of a few blows, her ribs started to protest. She felt a sharp pain and she knew that her rib wouldn't hold another blow. Her muscles strained and she mustered all the strength to push The Queen off and roll away from under her. Surprisingly, there wasn't much resistance. At the moment when Lightning pushed, the woman herself scrambled away in the opposite direction.**

 **Lightning's eyes then looked for her opponent, her muscles ready to get her up from a crouch if necessary. But it wasn't and Lightning was grateful that she could lean on a floor a for while. She could no longer keep that pace without a break. Her breath was ragged, the blood from the cut eyebrow was flooding her eye, her palm was clutching at the sore ribs, wondering if they're still intact. However, when she looked at the other woman it felt like looking into a mirror. She was similarly battered, still leaning on the floor with her knee, clutching at her side, panting heavily, with a bloody smudge reaching from under her nose to her cheek.**

 **Just when Lightning thought that the woman was about to get up she saw her eyes widen suddenly and lock on the space behind Lightning's back. Then she saw it too. All the noise was no longer caused by cheers of the spectators. They were now running in all directions with a heavy clamoring and panicked shouts. The red blinking lights were too regular and couldn't be mistaken with dying industrial lighting that was omnipresent here. Soon, a man with a rifle appeared in the arena. His uniform left no doubt.**

 **"Freeze! Police!" He shouted and she did freeze. Not because he told her so but because she realized what it meant to her. What it meant to her future. What it meant to Serah's future.**

 **"Put your hands behind your neck."**

 **She obliged. Her empty gaze stuck to the floor. All these memories came back to her at once. When her younger sister tried to warn her, when she begged her to stop doing this, when she tried to convince her that they would get by somehow. All for nothing.**

 **A cold metal tightened around her wrist with a characteristic click and Lightning's shoulders sagged down. The bitter tears pulled into her eyes. All she had managed to accomplish since their mother's death, thrown into trash. All the struggle to make a living… now meaningless.**

 ** _Oh, Serah… I should have listened to you…_**

* * *

A/N

Alright. This chapter was a little bit challenging. The fight scenes are the most difficult for me (alright, the erotic ones are even more challenging *blushing*) as I try to accurately put into words what I depicted in my mind. Too little details may result in you seeing something completely different than me and too many details make it sound like a cookie recipe... -.- I hope I've found the right balance here and it was both clear and enjoyable.


	8. 7 Impressed

Hey! Chapter 7 posted. The first part of it is rather light (in comparison with the general mood of the story) and after all, I find it even mildly funny. Yeah, a small breath before going on with the drama. I wondered if I should give any official warning before this chapter but decided against it. You may get a little bit scared during one fragment but I encourage you to finish the chapter. It's not as bad as you may imagine ;) Any comments very much appreciated.

LadyWolvie82 - thanks for beta reading.

* * *

 **7\. Impressed**

 _Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred…_ The Oerban lied on the floor letting out a long breath. She took a few more breaths then placed her palms on the ground just over her shoulders, pulled her knees to the chest and with one sharp movement jumped on her feet easily and full of grace. _Smooth_. Lightning didn't really intend to watch Fang during the whole her workout routine. To count her sit-ups, push-ups, pull-ups or whatever she was doing. To watch her muscles tense, defining all her shapes anew, then relax, leaving only a mild but clearly visible outlines under the smooth, olive skin. But then what else was Lightning to do? It wasn't the first time and Lightning wondered if the Pulsian was showing off, for god knows what purpose, or it was just a way to kill some time without wasting it completely.

At first, Lightning was watching to gather some data, to estimate the woman's general fitness. Just like she had been afraid, it matched the look of the Oerban. Suddenly, the self-assured attitude made a lot of sense, even though Lightning still didn't approve the cockiness. She hoped that the woman would start her fighting training eventually so Lightning could get accustomed with the technique and be more effective in case she ever needed to face the Oerban in combat. However, the woman had never shown her anything more than some general exercises and watching lost its purpose. Still, Lightning's eyes always followed her. It became entertainment. The one and only one she could count on. Well, the only one except Fang talking to her but it hardly counted as entertainment.

Anyway, even if Fang grabbed her spear and showed Lightning all her fighting secrets, it would be to no avail at that point. Lightning was weak. Weak and tired. She would have no chance now.

The Cocoonian sighed in resignation. _At least Fang is easy to look at…_ Yeah, she had always appreciated a view of a strong female body…

 **XXX**

 **Lightning was sitting in a chair feeling small. Neither her hands nor any other part of her body was restricted anymore, still, she was glued to the chair. There was no possibility to just get up and leave the office. She had messed up and there were consequences.  
The room seemed rather strict. The only decorations on the walls were military awards and badges. A little frame was standing on a massive desk but it was turned with its back to Lightning so she couldn't see any photography. Behind the desk, there was a leather chair. Empty. Empty because a massive man was standing beside the desk with his hands clasped behind his back. He was staring at Lightning expectantly.**

 **"So, Miss Farron? Have you made your decision yet?" His resonant voice filled the silence.**

 **"It doesn't seem like I have a choice..." The answer might sound unhappy but mostly she was confused. A mix of anxiety, fear, frustration, distrust and a cautious dose of relief were twirling in her head.**

 **"There is always a choice. Sometimes it's choosing the lesser evil but your actions, or lack of them, is always your choice. And the choices are followed by consequences." He looked meaningfully at the juvenile but she refused to raise her gaze any higher than the floor.**

 **"I wouldn't like you to think about it as the lesser evil or the punishment, though." He continued. "Treat it more like an opportunity. I'm offering you a place at Cocoon's Military Academy. If you turn out promising and join the army, your sentence will be amended. If not... Well, we both know what happens then." A chill ran through the length of her spine. Yeah, they both knew.**

 **After a while, Lieutenant Amodar let out a long tired sigh and rubbed his eyebrows.**

 **"Listen, I know you're not a bad kid. You've just had it rougher than most kids your age. This is the best option for you. I don't want you to waste your life because of a two-year sentence. Starting again, after getting out of prison, is harder than the prison itself. And your sister is too young to fend for herself. The social services have already got interested in this. As the academy recruit, you'll get a social scholarship. Not much but enough to keep both of you fed."**

 **Lightning raised her eyes at that point, alarmed as always on the mention of her younger sister. Though, it was nothing out of ordinary that he knew a lot about her. They knew better than to recruit someone without checking the background first. Serah was her responsibility. Hers, and no one else's. She couldn't let the social services find her new home…or find _him_ …**

 **Despite the itching feeling of uneasiness and distrust, she agreed. That was the most reasonable choice she had available.**

 **Two days later…**

 **"Today you're going to master some basic throws…" A man dressed in a perfectly suited uniform was standing before a bunch of people. They all seemed to be on a border of adulthood. Lightning among them. She tried to listen but the thought that she had just become the property of Cocoon's army was bothering her. The mere idea of being a _property_ of anyone or anything was stirring her in all the wrong ways. There was no protesting it now though. That was the only way to keep Serah close. Otherwise, her sister would have been taken away, placed in a foster family with some strangers… or even worse… Lightning narrowed her eyes. She couldn't let that happen. She was responsible for her sister and she would never let anyone hurt her in any way. There had been enough letting down in this family already…**

 **"Alright, I'm done with talking now. Choose your sparring partner."**

 **That was the moment when Lightning realized she couldn't recall a word from the man's instructions. She looked to the side checking if there is anyone without a pair when she heard a voice from behind her back.**

 **"I think we still have some sparring unfinished." The voice, she had heard it earlier but couldn't place it until she turned back. The stitches over her brow tingled as the raven-haired woman, who had given them to her, was standing there with a gentle smile.**

 **"How…" Lightning was staring at her with her brows arched with surprise. Then she huffed when her reasoning answered the unfinished question. "Of course, they'd cut the same deal with you."**

 **"Looks like they're short on recruits." Said the brunette with a passing glance at the instructor.**

 **"Tch… Sure they are…" Lightning kept watching the woman with curiosity. They were both thrown from one shit into another. However, the woman's mood was oddly light, despite some visible signs of tiredness and worriness.**

 **"Tifa." She said, stretching her hand towards Lightning. The pinkette hesitated for a moment wondering if she should introduce herself with her given name but then she decided to stick to her nickname.**

 **"Lightning." She answered shaking Tifa's hand.**

 **During the next several months, Tifa came out to be the best sparring partner Lightning could ever wish for. She was an opponent challenging enough to keep Lightning on her toes and hardworking enough to stay behind for extra hours. They didn't really speak much. A few words exchanged here and there but they were mostly focused on their training. To tell the truth, they both needed money for their own reasons and the academy was offering a special scholarship for five percent of best recruits. Fortunately for Lightning, five percent meant two people so if they worked hard enough they could outdo all the others and wouldn't even need to compete with each other this time.**

 **Anyway, it was actually easier to outdo all the others than to beat Tifa. Lightning still had the memories from their fight in _The Hell_ in her mind. She almost laughed at the memory. In hindsight, their fight seemed so clumsy. Now, after they had received some decent amount of professional training, she could easily point out a couple of mistakes both she and Tifa had made.**

 **That day they finished late. There was no one else in the gym but that wasn't anything particular. They usually were the last ones to leave.**

 **Lightning sighed silently as the hot water soothed her aching muscles. She could say many things about the academy's shower rooms but at least there was hot water and it wasn't as limited as one could suspect. There just wasn't any privacy. Nothing to separate the respective 'cubicles'. Just the tiled floor and water showering from above their heads.**

 **The two women left one empty cubicle between them to give some illusion of privacy, though, that didn't stop Lightning's eyes from wandering. These eyes quickly skipped the distance between them to leave a passing glance over Tifa's perfectly sculpted body. Then they came back quickly to give some attention to her shower. Still, they were keeping the brunette in the peripheral vision. By the time they were training together, Lightning had already learned when it's safe to pick a glance and when she should rather keep her eyes in check.**

 **Lightning knew she shouldn't have but something was pulling her eyes back over and over again. Her own body had nothing to be shy about, she knew that. However, the view of Tifa's, lean and outlined with muscles, was strangely appealing to her. It was getting to her head. Or maybe that was just an agitation on the prospect of getting caught. She couldn't tell but shower time had never been as serene and relaxing as it should have been after a decent workout.**

 **When some time passed, it occurred to her that it wasn't only a sheer appreciation of a fit body. These were not only the muscles that were so appealing to her. Too often, her eyes happened to linger Tifa's breasts. The view was stirring something in her but it wasn't envy of any kind. Truth, Tifa's were fuller than her own, but Lightning wasn't glancing for a sake of comparing. She had no complaints about her own body. Oh no, that was something completely different that was making her swallow hard. Lightning had never had any boy crushes in school. She had always thought it had been caused by her lack of time for things like that. At that moment, she started to reconsider if that was the reason for such at all.**

 **The shower was almost done. Lightning finished rinsing her hair and she might have become a little bit too confident as her eyes immediately darted to the side to feed her mind until the next time. What she didn't expect was to meet Tifa's eyes, wide-open in shock, staring back into hers. She froze and her own eyes opened wide in dread. Her mind, after a while of convincing her that it hadn't just happened, gave up and made her turn back to her own shower. A little bit too quickly to look casual in this case. However, there was no longer any point in pretending to look casual. _Fuck…_ She closed her eyes in embarrassment when her face started to burn. She wished she could liquefy herself and disappear in the sewers below. Her body was very much solid, though, and, instead of disappearing, she stood tall and went on with her shower as if nothing had happened. **

**Luckily, Tifa finished her shower early and went back to the locker room. A few seconds passed before Lightning let out a breath that she was holding for god knew how long. Her forehead leaned on the cold tiles seeking some comfort.**

 **"You're a fucking idiot, Farron." She grumbled to herself when the reality sank in properly. Let's say it, Lightning Farron was caught peeking at her sparring partner in shower. _She must think that I'm some perv or whatever…_ But then, she thought that might be truth. Was she? _Who does things like that if one is not a perv?_ Lightning groaned to herself over the matter. The embarrassment was growing even bigger than before as her mind was tormenting her. She wondered if Tifa would ask for another partner after this incident… or… She gulped nervously. Or if Tifawould tell anyone… Could Lightning be expelled for things like that? _That would mean back to jail… and Serah would…_ The embarrassment turned into grave anguish. _Right back to square one_. She was mad with herself. _What was I thinking?_ Or rather why hadn't she thought about possible consequences earlier. There were many other ways to figure out her sexuality and for some unknown reason, she just had to choose this one.**

 **Lightning pushed away from the tiles and turned the water off. She dried herself with a towel. Slowly. A small hope that Tifa would be already gone crawled into her mind. There was no way she could look her in the eyes now. Her shower was long enough to give the brunette a chance to get dressed and leave. With that thought in mind, she entered the locker room. Her stomach sunk immediately at what she saw. The damn woman was still there, collecting her things.**

 **Lightning approached her locker ignoring Tifa completely. She took out her things and started dressing up, without even a glance in the direction of another woman. However, she was aware of her presence all the time. Looked like Tifa was busying herself on purpose, waiting. Lightning had a bad feeling about it.**

 **Eventually, when Lightning was fully dressed, she noticed a movement out of the corner of her eye and that was bad. Oh, how she wished she couldn't have to face Tifa. That they could just forget about the incident and the next day they would get back to their daily routine. However, Tifa was already there, standing right next to her.**

 **"Um… Lightning." Tifa demanded attention, though her voice sounded oddly strangled. As much as Lightning didn't want to do that, she straightened up and looked Tifa in the eyes. The crisis response of her body was inconsistent, as she first turned pale in fright and then felt the heat gather in her cheeks when the embarrassment took over. There was something more to this, surprising though for the pinkette. It was Tifa who couldn't hold her gaze.**

 **"I wanted to apologize to you…" Tifa started and Lightning was at loss here. _Why the hell would she apologize to me?_ She was confused and had no idea what was happening so she let Tifa speak. "For… you know…" The brunette looked completely sheepish and her eyes were running away every time they met the cerulean ones. That was weird. _Unless…_ Lightning started to replay in her mind all that occurred a couple of minutes earlier and then her eyes widened in surprise when she found out how wrong she was. "For the staring…" Tifa choked out finally and Lightning could barely believe her luck. She hadn't been caught looking, she had caught Tifa looking. That was an unexpected twist of action. Relief washed over Lightning and her features grew more relaxed. Tifa looked pretty much miserable though. "I didn't really… I mean… I just…"**

 **"That's fine. Don't bother with that." Lightning cut the conversation short putting the brunette out of her misery and then it was her time to be confused. She looked at Lightning with an unspoken question. 'Is that it…?' However, the pinkette was already back to packing her bag. That was only an evasion. She didn't really think what she was doing putting things in and out without any greater logic. Her mind was too preoccupied with other things. Damn, she had almost smiled due to relief and the general irony of the situation.**

 **"Alright… I won't… I guess." Tifa muttered rather unconvinced and got back to her belongings.**

 **Despite their exchange of words, the air was still thick with tension. Then Lightning's initial delight started to fade and common sense started to pour back into her. She froze for a moment when she realized what it meant that Tifa had been actually watching her in the shower. _Damn…_ A little bit of heat gathered in her cheeks again, as she took a passing glance at the woman.**

 **"You've got a killer body yourself." Lightning tried to sound casual and got back to packing her things. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Tifa's raised brows. Well, with that statement, she might have admitted that she had been looking too but it was vague enough to deny everything. She left it for Tifa's interpretation.**

 **"Thank you…" She said finally, still a little bit sheepishly, but pleased.**

 **"No need to thank me. Just stating the obvious." Lightning added with a shrug and then she realized she wasn't that bad at playing it cool. A shy smile appeared on Tifa's face and Lightning wondered if she saw a little blush. Anyway, an awkward silence spread between them once again. They both reached the point when it just wasn't possible to repack their bags in yet another way. It was Tifa who broke the silence at that point.**

 **"Geez, it's late." She said putting her duffle bag on her shoulder, getting ready to leave. "It took us quite a bit of time today. I'm starving. Wanna grab something quick to eat?" She justified her question properly, of course. But Lightning wasn't born yesterday. She knew when she was being asked out, and mostly she was turning people down.**

 **"My sister will be waiting for me with dinner." Well, that was the truth. Lightning just couldn't inform Serah in the last moment that she would be late without making her sister suspicious. Moreover, telling that she wasn't hungry after coming back home late... That would definitely make her sister nosy.**

 **"Alright, another time then." Tifa smiled gently to hide the disappointment in her voice. Then she turned on her heel and managed to take two steps towards the door before hearing Lightning's voice.**

 **"But tomorrow would be fine."**

 **Tifa turned and this time the smile reached also her eyes. "Tomorrow then."**

 **XXX**

Now, Lightning found the memory completely silly. She was young, stupid, naïve and feeling too much. _Army makes you work on weaknesses like these. After all, target is a target_.

That day had made her aware of how much actually she appreciated the view of a well-trained female body and Fang's couldn't please her more.

Fang's shift was over though and she was left with yet another guard, doing nothing. That wasn't half bad because she could close her heavy eyelids back and just slumber. It was never a proper sleep though, just half-awareness. To tell that she was tired was an understatement. The main reason would be the lack of sleep but she wasn't able anymore. Every time she was on the verge of falling asleep, every time her weight shifted putting more pressure on the shackled wrists, a surge of pain would run through her body like a clock alarm.

The other reason might be the fact that she stopped eating. There was no longer any point. She was in no state to make a break. Especially with Pulsians being more cautious than before. She would die there. That was a fact. Sadly, it didn't bother her at all.

This day something was different though. Someone was coming and it wasn't yet time for another shift. Fang's finished maybe an hour ago so she had still a lot of time ahead with the current guard. Maybe they were going for her again. They would take her into a place darker than this one and they would try to beat the answers out of her. But no. There was only one man. He entered the chamber and her current guard approached him.

"Thanks, man, I owe you." He patted the newcomer on the shoulder and went past him.

"Yeah, you do."

The metal bars shut close with a clatter and the man got closer. A flicker of recognition shone briefly in Lightning's eyes. It caused his lips to curve into a smirk.

"You remember me." He eyed the woman in the way that set all her senses at alarm. "Good, because you're not going to forget me for a long time."

Lightning did remember him. He was the man she ball-kicked during her first attempt to run away. It felt like centuries ago but back then she was much more attentive so it wasn't difficult to recall the man's face. The same one that was staring now at her with a hater. Lightning's eyelids fell slowly down and her head sunk. She was tired. There was no longer any desire to keep fighting. But this man… he insisted.

"Look at me!" He shouted grabbing her jaw and yanking it up to face him. Lightning opened her eyes halfway and looked back into his furious eyes, just as he wanted. "Oh, you're not as vivid as the last time." He said with a sickening chuckle and his hand reached behind his back to take out a short blade. "Maybe you're not as hard to crack as they say." The blade pressed against her cheek but didn't move. She could tell it was sharp from the way her skin stung. "The damage you've made the last time is irreversible." His slur barely reached her ears but it was then when she saw something bordering on madness in his eyes. "It will be only fair to take an eye for an eye." With that said, the blade left her cheek in order to travel further down her body but that was a distraction she waited for. Her half-opened eyes focused immediately and she drove her forehead into his nose. The quiet, cracking sound, followed by the man's grunt, filled the empty walls. He covered his nose as the blood started flooding from it. "Fucking bitch!"

Lightning might be a dead woman already at this point, but she was a proud dead woman. If she had to put up the last fight now, she would.

Then she heard noises from the distance. Normally she would ignore them, her mind occupied with the more urgent matter before her. But this voice... Maybe that was naive, maybe she was just passing by but Lightning couldn't stop a little flicker of hope tugging at her insistently. She might be ready to die but the sight of the man before her, the madness in his eyes and the meaning of his words from, were making her sick.

"Hey, I've just seen Whiz outside. Isn't it his watch tonight?" Fang's voice reached her ears clearly this time and she just couldn't stop herself from looking in its direction.

"He's found a replacement." A bored voice answered her.

"For tonight?" An unbelievement and suspicion soaked her voice in and Lightning could see in her mind's eye Fang narrowing her eyes and tipping her head slightly to the side. "Who?"

"Chug."

"Ya're fuckin' insane…? Ya let that psycho in?! Open that up."

"Looks like we're going to have a company." The man, called Chug, looked up at Lightning with a wicked grin. His lips and teeth covered in blood were making him look even more repulsive. He straightened up and looked to the side where the metal bars flung open.  
Fang was angry. Her eyes narrowed on the dagger in the man's hand then traveled to his bloodied face, lingered briefly at Lightning and came back to man's face. She lacked the usual humor, and the aura of easiness, that was always so typical around her, was gone.

"Get the fuck out of here before Caius finds out." She growled at him but decided to keep the distance.

"Oh? And who's going to tell him? Definitely not her." A sneer left his mouth when he pointed with his head at the prisoner.

"Ya're just beggin' me to kick your sorry ass again."

"Am I?" He grinned maliciously, playing with his dagger."Cos I can't see your famous spear this time."

"As if I needed it to deal with ya." Fang's tone, this time, lacked her usual mocking, for it was all serious. And Lightning realized Fang wasn't in a good position at all. Indeed, she couldn't see any weapon at her and the man seemed to have no scruples to attack one of his own. Something in her gut twisted as she kept on watching the encounter.

"I'll gladly put that to the test." Chug took a step towards Fang throwing his dagger from hand to hand. Fang wasn't intimidated though. Her eyes narrowed on the man but she kept standing where she was, in the safe distance of a few steps. "Knowing her reputation around here, it'll be far too easy to blame her." Chug pointed at Lightning again but Fang stayed unbothered.

"Ya're done talkin'?" Oh, Fang was provoking him and, seeing the angry grimace on his face, it was working. The man rushed forward and Fang might seem strangely unprepared to some. Standing still in the same place, not budging an inch. Lightning's trained eyes weren't so easy to be deceived though. She noticed this subtle shift of balance, the slight change in the position of her feet, the fact that her knees weren't locked but relaxed and prepared for a sudden movement. The little details like these made Lightning know that Fang was ready for him. Still, her breath stuck in her throat in anticipation.

The light of the torch flickered off the blade as the man leaped forward trying to stab the huntress. Her foot went backward in the last moment and her torso turned with a quickness that impressed even Lightning. The dagger missed her side be a mere inch. However, she wasn't going to just evade. While turning, Fang's arm went up. At the moment he was passing by, the side of her palm rained down precisely on the side of Chug's neck. He stumbled and fell down unconscious at Fang's feet.

 _That… was quick._ Lightning replayed the scene in her mind. The actual fight lasted less than a second. Completely not worth the adrenaline it woke in the pinkette. She might even be a little bit ashamed that she considered Fang to be in a difficult situation.

"Fuckin' piece of shit…" Fang glared at the man and kicked him lightly to check if he was responsive. She let out a sigh as there was no response. The man was then grabbed by the collar and raised just enough to drag him towards the exit. The Cocoonian's brows raised watching it. Fang didn't seem to have much trouble dragging him like that. Chug wasn't the biggest Pulsian she saw but he definitely had some weight. Fang was quick, she had just seen that. Maybe not as quick as Lightning, but now she could also see that Fang was strong. Stronger than herself. As much as she didn't want to admit that, she was impressed.

"Take this piece of garbage out of here." Fang growled throwing his senseless body near the bars. It opened and some other man dragged him out. Before it was done, Fang started walking back towards Lightning. On the way there, she wetted some clean cloth with water, then stopped before the prisoner. Still, not much more than some irritation on her face. The serious, jade eyes glared for a moment into Lightning's then skipped up to her forehead. The bump was already forming there. A small smirk started to appear on the tanned face of the huntress.

"First time ya met him ya crushed his balls, now ya've broken his nose..." Fang mused, cleaning Lightning's forehead from the dried blood. "Looks like I was just in time to save him from ya." She looked back into Lightning's eyes, this time some mirth coming back into her own. Lightning just had to close her eyelids and couldn't help the corner of her lips twitching up. Oh, she was tired of fighting it and, somehow, she no longer saw any point in holding back her reactions. At least before Fang who could read her like a book anyway. Once she dared to think that Fang could be serious about something, and then she drops a comment like that. They both knew it was completely ridiculous and it wasn't Chug who Fang saved here. She opened her eyes again to find Fang utterly proud of the half-smile she caused. To her surprise, Fang's glee didn't last long however, as some concern seemed to occupy her mind. The Pulsian moved the cloth to the prisoner's cheek to wipe the place, where the man's dagger left its mark. She leaned in with a serious frown to get a closer look. Lightning felt uneasy with Fang so close. She felt uneasy with any of them, invading her personal space and Fang was no exception.

Then she felt the brunette's thumb gently brushing along the shallow cut and Lightning froze. One look on the Pulsian's face now excluded the possibility of Fang messing with her again. She was all serious, with a deep frown, investigative even. The touch itself wasn't unpleasant. Contrary, it was gentle and in the other circumstances, it might be soothing. However in this case, it was unwelcome. All she could do was to turn her face away and she was about to do it when Fang spoke finally.

"It's just a scratch." She said straightening up and withdrawing her hand slowly. "There shouldn't be a scar."

It's not like the pinkette cared about any scar now. She wasn't going to see the sunlight ever again anyway. A satisfied smile appeared on Fang's face. She bored her green eyes into the blue ones and Lightning might not even flinch but a strange tension appeared in her body. She wasn't the one to get easily intimidated by anyone or anything. Somehow, after that day, she wished that if she ever escaped, it wouldn't be Fang being the one sent to hunt her down.

She couldn't get a grasp on the direct cause of the strange tension and that was irritating for starters. Probably it was all mixed up. Her irritation with Fang for crossing that invisible line, irritation with herself for finding the touch pleasant, recognizing Fang as a challenging enemy, and this all conflicted with the fact that, a few minutes earlier, Fang was sticking her neck out to save Lightning enormous suffering and humiliation. She was conflicted. She was staring back into these eyes, which couldn't possibly be more green, and was completely conflicted.

However, it was Fang's eyes which darkened with sadness and looked away.

"Ya have enough scars already, don't ya?" She muttered under her nose and Lightning again wasn't sure if Fang had meant the physical scars caused by her people. If that was some remorse finally tugging at her conscience. Or if she meant all the scars, especially the mental ones, which she had brought with herself to Gran Pulse.

"I need to go now but I'll be back. I'm always back." She winked at Lighting and left her there. Confused. Though, when Fang reached the bars there was a problem.

"No, I have orders. She can't stay unsupervised."

"Then go find someone." Fang started to lose her temper.

"You kiddin, right? This is the festive night, no one will agree."

"This is fuckin' insane. I've just finished my watch."

"You've dragged Chug out and I'm fine with that, but someone has to stay behind and watch her instead."

"Fuckin' great…" Fang kicked the metal bars. They screeched in protest to the kick but didn't budge. "Next time ya see that idiot - Whiz - tell him that he'd better keep out of my way for a few weeks."

"That I can do." Lightning heard the man's chuckle and saw a clearly unsatisfied Fang coming back.

"Morons…"


	9. 8 Regrets

**Hi. I managed to finish the chapter quite early as for me. :) I guess this is the result of me not leaving home lately because of COVID-19. This shit is serious, people. As a biotech company employee, I recommend staying at home. And I'm very sorry for all that might have already lost their close ones.**

 **Keep safe, sit on your butts and enjoy the chapter.**

 **LadyWolvie82 - thanks for beta reading.**

* * *

 **8\. Regrets**

"Have I told ya already that Vanille is goin' to strangle me for this..." Fang's head fell back as she groaned sitting in a chair with her legs thrown on the table. And yes, she had already told her that. A couple of times actually. It was starting to annoy Lightning. She had already heard that there was a festival that night. The very one when Pulsians were welcoming the rainy season. That day fell the first decent rain for a couple of weeks. At this time of the year, it was always considered the first day of the rainy season. Since that day, the ever-existent, scorching sun would be visible less and less on Gran Pulse's sky. Until another drought would show up. But the people of Gran Pulse were used to that by now, and were well prepared for the expected weather changes. That was the way they lived all this time. They adjusted to all the conditions that Gran Pulse dictated for them. After all, they considered themselves guests and the planet was their host.

This way of thinking was so alien to Lightning. Likely because of the older Farron being from Cocoon. People of Cocoon always tended to take what was needed without second-guessing. ' _For the general gain of society and continued development. To make lives better.' That they actually would say._ And they subdued Cocoon to their own will, not the other way round. Lightning had never seen anything wrong in that. Not that she had ever given it any thought if she had to be completely honest with herself on the topic. It was just the way things were back on Cocoon.

She had to admit, though, that the moment she had set foot on Gran Pulse for the first time, she had been mesmerized. Overwhelmed by its vastness and pristineness. Confronted with its roughness and the life full of dangers. Much more difficult one than what she had ever known on Cocoon. Now, she no longer knew if Cocoon's path was the right one. She no longer knew if any of these paths, Cocon's or Gran Pulse's, were right. They both had their share of flaws.

She let out a long breath. _Fang put things into my head again…_ And that was the truth. She wouldn't know shit about Gran Pulse at all if it wasn't for Fang. Wouldn't know about the rainy season festival, about the feast they would have, about all the games they would play, about the precious prizes that Fang would obviously not win this time, about all things that Fang was missing right then by being stuck in the cell with her, sitting in the dim, quiet dungeon and whining about it to no end. Oh, and, of course, she wouldn't know that Fang was going to be strangled by Vanille the minute she leaves that place.

"She was so excited… I promised her I won't miss it this year."

 _And just what do you want me to do with that? Throw you a pity party? I can barely move a finger here, unlike you…_ Lightning knew that Fang didn't expect anything from her, still, she couldn't stop the feeling that she was being blamed. Yeah, Fang missed the festival, because she had come back to check up on her. Technically, it was Lightning's fault… but not really, not as much as one would think. First of all, she had never asked for it. Second, the price Fang had to pay was completely trivial in comparison with the price Lightning would have paid if Fang hadn't shown up. Somewhere under her protective walls, she was thankful and that might be the main reason for her annoyance with Fang. She didn't like to owe anyone anything. She didn't like being saved. Being saved meant being vulnerable as far as she was concerned. That she couldn't afford at any cost.

Fang let out a long sigh. "Though. I have to admit here, seein' this asshole with a broken nose was worth any price." A smug smile then appeared on Fang's face and she even laughed quietly. She might whine and joke as much she wanted, and Lightning might be as dense as she was, but Fang's relief that she had got there just in time, was almost as big as Lightning's, and that couldn't be hidden completely.

Deciphering the brunette was exhausting if one had to be honest here, and Lightning's depleted resources of energy were protesting. She gave up, finally, and closed her eyes, thinking of nothing at all. Etro had her own plans though and letting the pinkette rest, wasn't a part of it. A loud growl reached her ears and her eyes opened in confusion to look for the source.

"I'm hungryyy…" Fang grunted, in unison with another notable growl coming out of her stomach. Lightning just stared at her, not sure if she more wanted to deride her or just punch her. The last decent meal she had eaten (the military rations didn't count in Lightning's opinion) had been back on Cocoon.

"And all that food is goin' to waste."

On the mention of tables, bending under the weight of various festive dishes and treats, Lightning's stomach started rumbling as well. Fang's eyes turned to her. She heard that.

"Ya don't eat that." She pointed at the bowl with green goo. The regard was more of an observation than a question or anything else. She got up to her feet and soon Lightning had her crouching over the bowl with curiosity, in Lightning's reach. And Lightning knew it didn't work the last time and wouldn't work with Fang at all either. And no matter how tired and defeated she felt, she felt also obliged to give it that last try. Even if the only good it might bring, it was proof that she didn't favor Fang over the others. That proof. Suddenly she felt an urge to make a point.

So her legs, even if filled with resignation, started to rise. Slowly and stealthily. In order to throw a chain over Fang's neck. But the brunette's eyes skimmed to the side immediately, stirred by the slightest movement. And before she could even think, Fang's hand gripped the chain and pinned it back to the ground. Lightning's eyes shut close and she threw her head back involuntarily with a grunt mixed of frustration and pain. Her wrists reminded her rather unkindly about their condition. She took a cleansing breath and reopened her eyes. By that time, Fang had already replaced her hand with her foot, pinning the chain to the floor securely.

She was standing tall over Lightning, making good use of a few inches of height difference between the two women. Too close for the pinkette's liking. The mild anxiety started forming in her again but she brought her gaze up to Fang's anyway. Not hesitating before facing her, accepting the shame of yet another failure, not afraid of the punishment for that feckless attempt. But there, Fang wasn't angry. There wasn't even a smug, victorious grin on her face. Instead, she was staring at the prisoner with curiosity, her head tipped to the side in so characteristic to her manner. Pondering over something. It made the anxiety in Lightning grow on strength and suddenly, she became more aware of the stone pressed against her back.

"Ya know what? They say that ya don't give me any trouble because ya like me."

Lightning scoffed loudly, caught totally off guard by Fang's sudden comment. Immediately, she wanted to punch herself mentally. She might have decided that she was too tired to keep every muscle of her face in check all the time but that was too much. _Going from no reaction to overreaction… Well done Farron…_ That moment had to happen eventually. Her self-control was slowly starting to waver and the instincts, that she more often than not tried to suppress, were shining through. The fact that it was inevitable didn't make the process any less irritating. Just as irritating was her instinctive urge to show Fang how ridiculous and wrong her comment was.

To her surprise, Fang chuckled along. "Funny, right? I don't think it's that neither." The brunette took a second to reconsider. "Well, at least not only that." The corner of her lips turned slightly up. "Most of them just keep on underestimatin' ya."A smirk gave place to the mild irritation. "'We'll chain her up, so she'll be obedient.'" She imitated one of the other guards."Is that what they think?" She added with a scoff of her own. "I wouldn't sell my skin cheap either."

Lightning started to consider if she hadn't judged Fang's cockiness too quickly. Undoubtedly, she was cocky, that was for sure. However, that wasn't the 'they can throw anything at me and I'll manage because I'm so fucking amazing' type of cockiness. Her cockiness was a result of her skill to quickly and accurately assess the situation and confront it with her capabilities. Since her capabilities seemed to be impressive and Fang was well aware of them, she could let herself be cocky most of the time.

The huntress scrunched her nose. Then she looked at the bowl filled with green goo that she was still holding in her hand. The moment her nose hovered directly above it, a disgusted grimace appeared at her face.

"Fuck… it smells like shit… No wonder why ya don't want to eat that." She moved away quickly and discarded the horrible smelling meal. Lightning didn't mind at all, even if she wasn't going get anything instead, she wouldn't need to look at this anymore.

"Now, I've lost my appetite too." She chuckled and got back to her seat. "I guess it's a good thin'."

For Lightning it was quite hard to understand why the damn woman was sitting there, laughing like she lacks a care in the world. _I've just attacked her. And she shrugged it off as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world_. She took one more moment to ponder over that before she realized that, actually, there was nothing out of order in this situation. They were enemies. _These are things that enemies do - attack each other._ Tolerating Fang's presence here was making her confinement less unbearable and she was fine with that… In condition that she wouldn't let herself stop seeing Fang as an enemy. She shouldn't have had to remind herself about it. _I'm losing my mind already…_

"No one expected it'd take so long..." The brunette started again starring absently in the void before her. Rather seriously. "Honestly? Since they haven't broken ya until now, I doubt they will." She turned her head to look at Lightning. "Ya're not afraid of physical pain given to ya." That wasn't a question, that was a statement and there was still more of that to come. "Ya try hard to make an appearance of not knowin' what the fear is." She chuckled softly but it died quickly, swallowed by concern. "But your dreams… they haunt ya all the time."

Lightning's stomach tightened, and the cold, hostile mask came back on her face. Fang could mess with her, mock her, invade her personal space but any information that might be connected to her sister even if the vaguest, she would protect by no means.

"What's that? What haunts ya, Lightnin'?"

It didn't matter if Fang had either good or bad intentions. She was being nosy in the wrong place. _That's none of your fucking business, Fang._ Lightning's walls weren't completely shattered yet. She wouldn't let Fang rub her fingers into the open wound.

"Ya're clearly not afraid of us. Are ya scared of what comes next? Of the future of Cocoon that you protect so dearly? Your close ones? Or maybe it's the past that gives ya shivers?" She stopped to take a closer look at the prisoner. Lightning, though, was just an emotionless statue. She showed no acknowledgment of the Pulsian's words, became one with the stone she was chained to.

"Are ya full of regrets, Lightnin'?" She asked again but got nothing back. Eventually, her gaze drifted away from the prisoner and locked at the ceiling with a bitter smile. "We all are. Full of regrets."

To tell the truth, that was exactly what Lightning was. Sometimes she wondered if she was anything more than regrets. Smaller ones, bigger ones, all together dismantling her being slowly, piece by piece. And one major regret that crushed everything that was left. Like a cannonball. One regret that determined the course of her life. Serah, whom she had denied help. The one who had been standing there before her, trying to tell her, and Lightning had called her a liar. The one who had been dead for a year. That regret was going to kill her too, sooner or later. _Now, it will be sooner rather than later..._

 **XXX**

 **"Is there any model you're specifically interested in, ma'am?" A well-groomed man smiled politely at Lightning. He was dressed in his black trousers, a perfectly ironed, snow-white shirt, and a necktie, neatly hanging down from his neck.**

 **"CSC-1000." The woman's answer made his eyes widen slightly and shine with delight.**

 **"Excellent choice, ma'am. This is a real pearl in our collection. Come with me, please. I'll present it to you."**

 **Not too long later, Lightning's bloodshot eyes were staring back at her. A well-polished aluminum plate of the aircraft was reflecting her tired face perfectly. The black shadows under her eyes were telling stories of many sleepless nights. Despite all of that, her glare lost none of its sharpness.**

 **The woman's fingers brushed the cold metal just under the inscription 'Cocoon SpeedCraft – 1000' while the man continued to describe the capabilities and all the technical details of the machine. She stayed silent through all this time, listening carefully to every word. From the maximum speed and fuselage strength to the material the seats were made of. She even kept calm and let him speak when he started telling stories related to this model and some Cocoon celebrities. Though, he quickly got discouraged as Lightning didn't laugh along with him.**

 **After the detailed presentation of the interior and exterior of the aircraft, they came back to the office.**

 **"I have a folder here, ma'am." He said putting a thick book before her. The familiar 'Cocoon SpeedCraft' logo was taking the main part of the cover and under it was a rather minimalistic title 'CSC -1000'. "You'll find here any information that is available about this model."**

 **Lightning took the folder and sat comfortably in a customer chair on the opposite side of the man's desk. She hung one leg over the other and started to breeze through the pages in her lap. Her fingers were tapping on the surface of the desk repeatedly as the man continued to speak.**

 **"This is quite the advanced aircraft, ma'am. Apart from flying license, it requires a special kind of permit, precisely for this kind of machine. Do you possess these by any chance?"**

 **"No." She answered matter of factly, not letting him disturb her from the lecture.**

 **"I see. It's nothing to worry about. We offer professional piloting services, as well. You can rent the aircraft along with a pilot. And I swear to you, we employ the best ones in all Cocoon!"**

 **Lightning gave him a passing glance and nodded with acknowledgment. Her fingers were still tapping on the desk, filling the silence like the ticking of a clock. She turned the page to the fuel consumption and capacity section.**

 **"Oh, yes. This one was made for far journeys. It can take you literally anywhere you wish to go." He smiled like a proud father but Lightning seemed unimpressed. She generally didn't react to anything the man said so far and a neatly hidden frustration started to build in him.**

 **"Anywhere, huh? Then I guess it could easily get to Pulse and back." Her voice lacked anything that would indicate if she was being serious or joking. That caused a delay in the man's answer as he didn't know how to react to the bizarre question.**

 **"Yeah…" He laughed nervously. "That would be my first choice for such a journey. Unfortunately, the civil flights to Pulse are prohibited by law."**

 **Lightning's fingers stopped midair catching his words then fell on the desk for the last time. Much louder than earlier. A heavy silence hung in the air as she brought her glare up to his eyes.**

 **"They are. Yet your company has recently provided such a service to a pair of young people, right?" She said next, putting a picture of her sister with the overgrown hero wannabe before the man. Her voice was still calm, but her eyes were sharp and merciless the entire time. In this heavy silence, the sound of the man swallowing hard was easy to catch. He gave a passing glance to the photo but he didn't need to. He knew exactly who she meant.**

 **"Ma'am, unless you are interested in our services, I will need you to leave." His answer was still polite but he lost his enthusiasm and his tone was rather enforcing.**

 **"I'll need you to answer my questions first."**

 **Lightning then showed her Guardian Corps badge keeping her eyes on the man who got two shades paler.**

 **"Ma'am, we just rent the aircrafts, it's not like we know where the customer wants to go. It's the pilot who should know where it is allowed to go. Besides… I know nothing about this case. My boss attended to this business personally." The man was now scared shitless. Although, he seemed also annoyed. Annoyed in the 'someone dragged me into deep shit here without even letting me know' way. So Lightning believed him.**

 **"Where will I find your boss?"**

 **"Ma'am, both me and my boss have already been interrogated in this case. Everything should be in the report. I have nothing more to add here…" He answered defensively, hiding behind the official GC protocol he was likely coached on. That wasn't going to work with Lightning though.**

 **"Where will I find him…?" She ignored his first answer and gave him one more chance.**

 **"I just asked you to leave." He repeated more forcefully this time, and Lightning's brow twitched in annoyance. She closed her eyes and let a small sigh out, trying hard to keep her anger in check. When she opened them again, her fingers were tightening around the man's necktie. Before he even realized, his face crashed against the surface of the desk.**

 **"You're fucking crazy!" He shouted out, clutching at his face.**

 **"I asked you a question…"**

 **"I'll make a complai-" He was disrupted half sentence as his face found the wooden surface once again. Harder this time. A whine reached her ears and the man started to struggle against her grip. And Lightning didn't know why they always insisted on making it harder for them. She pulled his head down for the third time.**

 **"Alright! Alright…" He groaned, holding his hands up in the gesture of surrender at long last. "I'll write it down for you."**

 **A minute later the pinkette was starring at the note with a scribbled address and phone number.**

 **"That's his recent address, but I heard that he's been keeping a low profile since that accident."**

 **"Thanks." The sergeant got up on her feet and looked at the folder in her hand. "I'll keep that." She said throwing some gil on the desk and left.**


	10. 9 Primal

Hey again this month. ;) Looks like I caught a flow. Except for Fangrai jumping back and forth, this chapter explains some things I guess. And, maybe I'm just weird but when I was finishing this chapter one thing got stuck in my head... Well... after the last words of this chapter, I imagine Lightning walking through the Bodhum GC Command Center corridor with this conviction of hers and AC/DC playing Highway to Hell in the background. LOL!

LadyWolvie82 - thank you for beta reading.

Enjoy!

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 **9\. Primal**

 _That won't take much longer now…_ Lightning tried to comfort herself. Her condition was worsening now, by the hour. She was getting dizzy from all the sleeplessness and hunger. Maybe that was for the best. The lack of sleep seemed to dull her senses. The hunger pangs and violent twists of her stomach were no longer bothering her so much. The dull ache was ever existent in the various parts of her body. Although, it didn't sting as much as it used to. She was getting more and more insensible and that was good.

She raised her heavy eyelids ever so slightly, increasing her awareness involuntarily. The acoustic sounds in the cavern were pretty good. The noises from a far end of the corridor that she didn't even see, could reach her ears easily. Her eyelids fell back slowly, and a ghost of a smile might appear on her face for once. _Fang's coming._ And that was the truth. Fang's distant voice was becoming more and more audible with every second until it wasn't distant anymore. _She's in a good mood._ Also, this time Lightning wasn't mistaken as the brunette entered her cell with a wide grin. For a moment there, Lightning was glad that, after all, Fang hadn't been strangled by Vanille.

"Hey, Lightnin'." She approached the prisoner and Lightning brought her tired eyes up to hers. Fang's grin faltered slightly. She noticed the worsening condition of the soldier and she couldn't hide that it was starting to bother her as opposed to before. Her smile grew gentler than earlier and that also lost most of its excitement. "Got ya somethin'." The first thing that Lightning acknowledged was the tone of Fang's voice as it grew low and comforting. Only after she made out the meaning of the words that were just spoken. She stared at Fang wide-eyed, more conscious now. "Just keep that between us, alright?" Lightning didn't know why Fang kept on saying this as if it was a joke. That wasn't amusing at all, but it didn't matter, because the huntress just unwrapped a small package and the air was filled with a delicious smell. Her nostrils fluttered with a strain and she had to close her eyes to keep her senses from going into overdrive. It didn't help much at all. Saliva pooled into her mouth and her stomach painfully reminded her about its existence. Before she could think about anything else, one of her hands was free. Still, all she could do was to stare at the piece of grilled meat with a mix of hate and want. "C'mon Light, it's just a steak. It won't bite ya." Fang said and shoved it almost under the pinkette's nose. Her trembling fingers reached slowly and took carefully the package from Fang's hands. She kept just staring at it, fighting a lost battle. She knew she shouldn't take the brunette's offer. She came so far in her own personal quest, and it wouldn't take much more to starve herself to death. That one meal would throw all her efforts away. She was aware of all that but, still, her self-restraint was slipping away. Her primal instincts were much stronger than she ever anticipated and as ashamed as she was, they were taking control over her.

Her teeth sank in the piece of meat hesitantly and bit off a rather small chunk. It was tender and juicy and was flooding her taste buds with an unknown aroma while dissolving in her mouth. It had to be seasoned in something that Lightning didn't recognize, and she didn't really care to give it any more thought because she was already biting another much larger piece chewing it carelessly and taking another greedily. She tried hard to at least keep some dignity in eating, but she could barely recognize herself at this stage. It was as if she was standing there, beside her own body, fully aware but not able to do a damn thing. Looking helplessly as she was devouring the steak in the almost animalistic way. It was a sad view. A grim picture of a broken soldier. At that pace, soon she would… Lightning's eyes widened as a piece of meat, that she didn't chew much, stopped in her throat. Tears pooled into her eyes as it didn't want to go either way.

"Woah!" Fang jumped back to Lightning, seeing what was happening. "Easy there, have some water." She said pouring water into Lightning's mouth. She swallowed and the piece started slowly moving down and gave up completely with another gulp, falling finally into her stomach. Lightning took a few breaths, as the air started to flow again into her lungs.

"I know ya're hungry but chew the damn thing for Etro's sake!"

This time now, Lightning couldn't bring herself to look up at Fang. She had assumed that she wouldn't be able to feel any shame when she was so far gone. That when the stake was survival, the shame was fading away into the background. But there it was, pinning Lightning's gaze to the floor, making her head turn to the side, making her teeth clench in both embarrassment and anger at herself for not being able to control her primal urges. Then it was even worse because Fang couldn't just ignore her. She felt the brunette's finger under her chin dragging it back up, forcing her gaze to confront the emerald eyes. Of course, Lightning's gaze couldn't be anything other than hostile at that moment, with her lips pressed into a tight line. However, despite the frown on her face, Fang's eyes were gentle.

"It's alright. I get it, ya're starvin'." Fang's hands fell back on her hips with a sigh. "I brought some for me to eat too, but I don't really need it so it's yours." The solemn tone of her voice started to give place to relief, and a half-smile came back to her face. "Just chew it this time, will ya? Wouldn't like to lose ya here."

Lightning was watching Fang coming back to her sit. There was a lot to process about this incident, but she postponed it for later. The sinkhole in her stomach was insistently reminding her about the half-eaten steak, partially wrapped in paper and waiting in her palm. She forced her mind to go blank, so it wouldn't bother her with guilt, shame, disappointment, hater or anything else while she was finishing her meal. It was focused on eating more carefully this time.

When she finished Fang appeared before her with the promised extra piece originally meant for the brunette. Lightning hesitated and looked at Fang searchingly. That only made the brunette raise her eyebrow and chuckle.

"Don't ya worry about me, Light. I still have plenty of this at home. Freshly slain behemoth if you're wondering. It hasn't been even 24 hours. That's why it's so good." She said, pushing the wrapped steak into the Cocoonian's hand. "Well, that and a little bit of Vanille's touch." Fang chuckled again on the thought of Vanille. "She's finally got it perfect." She scratched her neck sheepishly. "Yeah, I've had to survive many attempts of her cooking since we were kids, but it's been worth the wait."

Lightning's eyes grew unfocused, and the memory of Serah softened her tormented features. Serah and her first attempts of cooking when she had been was fed up with all the quick meals that Lightning had been bringing back home, eating in a hurry and leaving again. Although, the memories of Serah were always a double-edged sword. As much as they were soothing at first, the pain was always chasing right behind and eventually, it was all that was staying with Lightning.

She chased the memory away and focused back on the piece of behemoth in her hand.

"Ya know, I told Vanille about ya. It was her idea to bring ya that." Fang watched Lightning eat with a satisfied smile. "I guess she just wants as much audience as she can get with her now perfect steak."

When Lightning was swallowing the last bite her stomach already hurt in a different manner than earlier. That was too much food considering that it shrunk significantly past few weeks. Somehow, she convinced herself that she might not get anything to eat any time soon. However, these were only smoke and mirrors of her own urges that helped the Cocoonian disregard her mind and eat with a calm conscience. Her stomach hurt but so were the other parts of her body so what was the difference anyway.

Soon after her needs were satiated, the delight of having something in her mouth started to fade away and a full consciousness took over. Especially after delivering a considerable quantity of energy into her organism. A shame started to burn bright in her mind. She felt like the biggest fool. What was all that starving for if she just threw herself on the food the first occasion she got? Her condition had been so feeble already, so it wouldn't have been more than two days before the long-awaited death. This one short moment of weakness screwed everything up for her. The contempt for herself started to rise. What happened with her strong will she was so proud of? She had been mastering self-control for at least half of her life. Where did it go when she needed it most? Hadn't she trained for situations like this? Where were these years spent in the military? Was her nature so weak that after all these preparations, all things that she had been put through in her life, were worthless after all? Didn't life teach her anything? She gritted her teeth in frustration bordering on desperation.

 _Now, it's back to square one_. She had considered the other ways earlier, but the success rate was just as or more unlikely than the one she was working on. Crashing her skull against the wall would at most give her concussion and she would lose consciousness before making the damage serious enough. She could also try to steal a weapon during another attempt of interrogation, but they would knock her down the second she tried anything of that nature. She started to envy all the people who were able to commit a quick suicide. It was a privilege she was denied.

That was Fang's fault. The huntress just enjoyed sitting there and watching her struggle. Was that a cruel joke of her? Or was it giving her some wicked satisfaction to see Lightning almost eat from her hand? The angry, humiliated tears started to burn in the corners of the cerulean eyes, but she pushed them back with even greater determination. At least she wouldn't give the Pulsian satisfaction of seeing her cry. Or maybe that was just her task. That's why she was watching her so carefully. To make sure that the prisoner wouldn't die until they would pry her open and take all the information they wanted. Oh, no, she wouldn't give Fang that satisfaction either.

She then raised her eyes to Fang, offering her one of the finest Farron glares that she could give in her current state. Though, Fang didn't seem to expect that one coming as she stopped whatever she was doing. She looked taken aback with brows raised high.

"What? Ya got some fuel and ya're fuming again, huh?" She wanted to laugh but it died almost immediately as Lightning's eyes flashed with rage. Something was not right in this case, and the brunette could see it. She stared back at Lightning with a big irritated frown."Seriously, what's your deal?" No more humour in her voice this time around.

 _You damn well know what!_ Lightning wanted to yell at her but that would give the huntress satisfaction too. Maybe that's what it was for? To provoke her to, finally, speak anything.

"I thought that bringin' you some food is a good thin'. Clearly, I was mistaken."

Lightning needed to calm herself down, and now. She was going to play by her own rules and not the way they wanted. Her palms were now balled into fists, she was adamant and she knew that with enough effort she could calm herself down. Maybe that anger management therapy she was forced to take would prove itself worth something after all.

 **XXX**

 **"Farron, tell me it's a bad joke." Lieutenant Amodar slammed his palm against the desk and shoved a piece of paper under her nose. He was mad. Lightning glanced briefly at the printed sheet. The aircraft's guy actually had the balls to place a complaint. That might give her trouble.**

 **"You went against the direct order!" He yelled and Lightning had never seen him so furious before. Yeah, she had the pleasure of experiencing a serious talking to a time or two and it wasn't the first time that Amodar was mad at her, but he had never yelled.**

 **"I've told you that keeping me off this investigation won't change a damn thing, sir." Lightning's line of defense wasn't the smartest one. It only achieved to piss off the lieutenant even more.**

 **"You were kept off for the reasons! And this…" he shoved the piece of paper even closer to her "is one of them."**

 **Lightning stared at Amodar. Her sister was dead. She didn't care for his reasons. She needed to know.**

 **"You can't be on the investigation that's related to you. For your own good and the good of the investigation."**

 **"Yeah… I can see how great it's going…" She mumbled under her nose sarcastically but Amodar ignored her comment.**

 **"This isn't about you, Farron. This is a general rule so people as hot-headed as you wouldn't jeopardize the investigation."**

 **"As if there was anything to jeopardize! Why is the owner of this company still out of prison? How is it even possible that you let a civilian aircraft leave Cocoon? Where is the team investigating the crash site? All you've done was bring her body here for me to identify!" Lightning paused afraid that her voice might break any moment. Her eyes started to burn but she knew there were no more tears to fall. They had gone dry long ago. "You do nothing. How am I supposed to just sit and wait?"**

 **"Farron…" The lieutenant straightened his back and cleared his throat. "I know it hit you hard. All of us are sorry for your loss. However, this is one of many cases. To tell the truth, it's more of an act of civilian insubordination than anything else. It's not a threat that demands immediate action from us. We've retrieved both the bodies and the flight recorder, but the crash site is on Pulse. I won't risk the lives of another people for a full detailed crash zone investigation. We do what we can but as harsh as it sounds, this case is NOT a priority."**

 **The lieutenant's words stung like nothing she had ever heard from him before. The knuckles of her clutched fists went white and for the first time in her career, she was on the verge of punching her superior. Though, she knew everything would be over then.**

 **"Well, for me it is." She snapped at him focusing at keeping her trembling with anger fists in check.**

 **"That's exactly why you are not on this case." Lightning just glared at Amodar, so he decided to continue. "You can't just walk through the door and beat the shit out of some random man."**

 **"I tried to do it by the book." Lightning crossed her arms on her chest and looked to the side nonplussed. "He wasn't being cooperative."**

 **"Yeah, I can imagine that." The man snorted with laughter and Lightning glared at him. "We are lucky that he doesn't sue us." He sighed tiredly. "Farron, you've always been a little bit rough around the edges but this time it came too far. You're suspended."**

 **Lightning's eyes widened when all the repercussions flooded her mind.**

 **"Sir, you can't…" She stared at him in disbelief.**

 **"Yes, I can suspend you and I will." His decision was made then and there, and Lightning knew that her protests wouldn't make any change. Once he set his mind to something, he was unyielding. "Take this time to recover. We need you here."**

 **"Tch… Right…" She looked to the side full of disdain and biting her tongue to not add anything else.**

 **"I scheduled you with the GC therapist again. I hope you won't miss your appointment this time." He sent her a meaningful glance.**

 **"I'll pass…" Visiting a shrink was the last thing she cared about then. It wouldn't change anything except for the therapist harassing her even more.**

 **"Farron, sometimes you just need to let someone help you." For a moment there Amodar sounded as if he was genuinely worried. She didn't need and didn't want his worry though. There were things far more important. Things that her superior sent far beyond her reach just minutes earlier.**

 **"You exactly know what would help here, sir. And it's not bullshit like this."**

 **The lieutenant gave her that inexorable glare and she knew that scheduling this appointment was more than just a suggestion.**

 **"Too bad because you're not allowed back into service until you're approved by the therapist."**

 **"You're kidding, right…?" She disbelieved again but he was dead serious.**

 **"That's all for now, Farron. I hope to see you back here soon."**

 **Her eyes narrowed at him, and she had to chew on her lip to not say something that would worsen her situation even more. Finally, she turned towards the door with a huff.**

 **"And for the record…" She stopped with her hand on the door's handle when Amodar started speaking again. She kept her back to him, though, refusing to give him her full attention. "The man you're looking for has been arrested this morning. His business wasn't as crystal clear as he claimed, after all. I've already made sure they won't let you anywhere near him. For both his and your own good."**

 **Lightning closed her fingers tighter around the handle but said nothing. She left the office without any further word and closed the door behind her not necessarily silently.**

 ** _Suspended._** **The pinkette growled in anger. _He actually did that_. Lightning had happened to have a few disagreements with her boss in the past. Mostly concerning her methods but he had never suspended her. She was his most effective field agent after all. The internal threats in the region of Bodhum were being eliminated before even public opinion could think about them. **

**_Damn you! That complicates things a lot._** **Now more than ever she needed access to information and, being suspended, she could do nothing. If she wanted to find out what happened, if she wanted to ever know why her sister was no longer anything but dust, she needed a plan. As far, she had been desperately ramming headfirst into every possible connection to her sister's death. That was chaotic. She needed to think clearly. As much as it would do her wonders to take out her rage on the guy who was responsible for providing Serah with that damn plane, it would give her no answers.**

 ** _This case is NOT a priority._** **Amodar's words were ringing in her ears causing only new waves of anger to flood her. Her eyes flashed with resentment, drilling a hole in the lieutenant's door. She could swear she was ready to break it down. In her peripheral vision, though, she could see people already staring at her. Her glare turned to them and suddenly they all became very busy with whatever they were doing. It was time to leave this place.**

 **People were discreetly moving out of her way while she was passing by and she didn't mind it at all. She couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't go off if someone approached her then.**

 **At least she knew that GC wasn't going to do much more so waiting for the end of the investigation was pointless. Even if she wasn't suspended, she could only count on the final report. Her access to any details was revoked much earlier. She had to stop dividing her focus between all the possible links to Serah's death. She needed to look at the big picture. If there was any chance of finding answers, it wasn't going to be on Cocoon. Unluckily, after Serah's little break free, there was no way of slipping past Cocoon's airspace defenses. The animosity in her eyes turned into unwavering conviction as her new goal started to slowly clarify in her mind.**

 ** _There is only one way to Hell. The official one._**


	11. 10 Priorities

Hey. This chapter is quite a significant one. Not the most significant in the whole story but the most significant so far I'd say. Yeah, so I'm finishing the Tifa's thread as an appetizer and then goes the main course. Bon appetit!

LadyWolvie82 - thanks for beta reading.

P.S. And I can see that someone's been reading my mind here... ;)

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 **10\. Priorities**

 **Lieutenant Amodar was sitting behind his sturdy desk, reading a document in his hands. His brows twitched a little bit up and he raised his eyes above the sheet of paper. They skipped between the two young women sitting before him and got back to reading. After a while, his brows raised even higher and his eyes skipped between the two women once again without even a word.**

 **Lightning crossed her arms on her chest and her eyes started drilling a hole in the nearest wall. She felt a minor heat gathering in her cheeks. She could imagine what was written there and knowing Nabaat it had to be exaggerated to the limit. Amodar's face only confirmed her suspicions.**

 **Amodar cleared his throat and put the piece of paper back on the desk. He interlaced his fingers and stared at the women before finally speaking.**

 **"You are probably aware of the grievance I've got from Colonel Nabaat this morning."**

 **None of the women answered so he continued, trying to sound as professional as he could.**

 **"She claims she ran across you two yesterday evening in the gym."**

 **Their silence was all the confirmation he needed.**

 **"And according to her you were…" He took the sheet of paper looking for the exact words but resigned from the idea quickly. He put the document back and cleared his throat again. "Well, I think there is no need to quote. Let's say she found you on the GC gym's floor involved in some bedroom activities."**

 **"Sir! It's not like that…" Tifa started to protest but Lightning stayed silent. What was she to say anyway? That they weren't actually having sex there? That it was only a brief make-out...? That sounded idiotic even for her own mind. She cursed Nabaat in her head again. What was she doing in GC buildings anyway? She shouldn't have been there. They were often staying longer than all the other recruits and at that hour the gym was always empty.**

 **That day wasn't different. They were sparing as usual at the end of their training and then the fight was dragged to the ground… It expanded a little bit further after a while… And from all the moments in the world, Nabaat chose this one to walk in.**

 **Lightning wasn't going to explain anything. There was no point. It was the word of two recruits against the word of one colonel. It didn't take a genius to know whose word would weight more. Even if Amodar believed them, it wouldn't change anything. The crux wasn't what exactly happened on that mat. The crux was that their relationship might generate some problems.**

 **"There is a reason why we don't mix boys and girls here but I see it's not working anyway." His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. "Honestly, I don't care what you do in your free time, as long as your relationship in the GC stays entirely professional. We cannot allow any romantic affairs in one regiment. That might put entire missions and a lot of people in danger. It is not tolerated and you two are no exception to this. One of you will be relocated to Palumpolum on the first possible occasion."**

 **Lightning's eyes widened hearing his words. _No… Not relocation…_ Her lips parted slightly while she was staring at the lieutenant blankly, but she didn't know what to say. Tifa was quick to react though.**

 **"Sir! But Palumpolum is on the second end of Cocoon…" She said agitated by his decision. It's not like they didn't know the rules here. They knew they were in trouble, though, yet neither of them suspected such harsh treatment like this.**

 **"Thank you, Lockhart. I know where Palumpolum is." He let out a long sigh.**

 **"If it wasn't for this…" he pointed at the document on his desk "I could think of a way to keep you both in Bodhum. Now, my hands are tied up. I have to stick to the official recommendations available to me." _Official recommendations, huh?_ Lightning was sure that was exactly what the document suggested and, despite PSICOM having no authority here, Amodar was just going to toe the line like an obedient puppy. **

**"Farron? You're not going to say anything…?" He called Lightning out, surprised at her staying silent through the whole conversation. He could easily see that something was brewing in her mind. The woman looked at him then narrowed her eyes hatefully at the paper on Amodar's desk.**

 **"She's PSICOM sir, GC issues are not her business. This should've never appeared on your desk at all, sir. So why shouldn't you ignore it?"**

 **The lieutenant laughed surprised by her comment. Lightning was right but she clearly had no idea yet how the military worked.**

 **"Farron, with some rank being at work here, the internal allocations lose its significance." That was it. The rules that all of them had to abide by always crumbled when collided with the wall of hierarchy. Theoretically, he could ignore the 'recommendations' and deal with the issue on his terms, practically meaning that he would have to stick his neck out for them and Nabaat wasn't the type to turn the blind eye to such insolence.**

 **It wouldn't make any difference here, whatever the two women said so the conversation ended quickly and they were walking with Tifa through the empty corridor.**

 **"That's not fair. They can't just send one of us to Palumpolum. You had a point there, Nabaat can't meddle in GC business whenever she wants."**

 **Lightning just walked there beside Tifa, but didn't say a word. To tell the truth, everything that Tifa said went in one ear and out the other. She was troubled if one had to be honest here. More than one could suspect. "We don't need to serve in one regiment, there must be a way to stay in Bodhum. Maybe we could… "**

 **"Tifa…" Lightning stopped not even realizing that she cut the brunette off half sentence. "I can't go." Lightning said seriously looking blankly into her partner's eyes.**

 **"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Nabaat can't decide for GC. We need to…" Tifa went on without the intention of giving up on _them_.**

 **"No. You don't understand." She shook her head looking down for a moment but then brought her eyes up again. "My sister… I can't leave her by herself..." It was surprising how Lightning's eyes could look both apologetic and expectant at once. After the initial confusion, the meaning under Lightning's words got to the other woman.**

 **"Oh…" Tifa was taken aback and her eyes grew unfocused. "You're asking _me_ to go…" The statement sounded weak as if someone squeezed the air out of her. She didn't need Lightning to confirm. The silence was enough. "So this is it, right?" She asked bitterly but Lightning's mind was made. They both knew there were no negotiations nor with Amodar neither with anyone higher than him. And messing with the PSICOM colonel… that couldn't end up beneficial in any way for either woman. **

**"Should have expected that… You've always had _priorities_." There was an additional bite to the word priorities. It prickled the pinkette's ears but she couldn't hold it against Tifa. The brunette was both rancorous and right by the sudden statement. No matter how harsh the words sounded they were true.**

 **"Tifa, I…" Lightning tried to explain but it was Tifa's time to stop her.**

 **"No." She raised her palm between the two in the gesture for Lightning to stop talking and took a step backward. "Just, don't..." Her eyes looked angrily at Lightning and she took a few more steps backward. Then she turned and walked away.**

 **Lightning was standing there looking into her partner's back and feeling like the worst, the most selfish asshole on Cocoon at that point. She wanted to go after her, to not leave things like that but it wouldn't change anything. Maybe it was better like that. To not say anything more. No point in rubbing the salt into the wounds. So, she respected the other woman's wish. After all, Tifa was right. She did have priorities, but the brunette knew about them from the very beginning, long before they were caught. _She has no right to blame me now._ The excuse of Lightning's mind, however, was immediately countered by guilt. _And I have no right to ask her for anything now… I shouldn't have got involved with her in the first place._**

 **Nonetheless, Lightning turned away as well and walked her own way from the scene. She was hurting too, but she was a soldier now. Hard choices were going to appear on a daily basis. She just needed to still her mind and get over it.**

 **XXX**

A drop of cold sweat run lazily down the back of Lightning's neck. A mild shiver shook her body not long after. Every fiber of her muscles was suffering. They were so weak that even twitching her finger was a task demanding great determination. Her head was hung low as the muscles in her neck lacked that determination and her mind was too preoccupied with drowning in haze to reprimand them about it. Her eyes were closed but she wasn't sleeping. She wished she could just fall asleep. Instead, her mind was slipping in and out of awareness every few minutes.

The muscles in her legs were tired, they needed to rest. It wasn't a surprise that the weakness that was spreading through her body affected them heavily. They gave way finally, and her knees buckled under her. The pain that surged through her body snapped her mind back into awareness. Her knees straightened up immediately now determined enough to not falter again. The pain left her breathless. It started in her wrists burning its way up the length of her arms and pulsing in her shoulders. After a moment she couldn't tell where it was emanating from, constricting her chest so as to make the breathing even more shallow than before.

Then someone was standing there, before her, pressing a palm to her forehead. She raised her eyelids half-way. Doing it all the way would be just an unnecessary effort. Half-way was just enough to see.

"Ya're burnin'." Lightning heard the familiar voice and then she didn't even need to see to know that Fang was there. She wasn't aware of her presence until that moment. Fang sounded worried but she could also see the frustrated frown on her face. The gentle fingers rounded her forearm and moved her hand slowly. Just a little bit but enough so the brunette could get a look under her shackles. A hiss reached Lightning's ears and she knew that the view had to be awful. She could feel that burning in her flesh. It was bad.

And then Fang was gone. She forced her head to turn, searching for her. Somehow the woman's presence was comforting. Even if that didn't change anything. There she was. In the far end.

"Hey, ya!" She shouted to someone outside. "Bring me Vanille here. Now!" The irritation that Lightning could sense in her voice made her demand even more forceful. "And tell Caius that if he wants to keep his little prisoners, he'd better take care of them."

It wasn't long until she heard a sweet girly voice calling Fang. A ginger-haired girl with two ponytails and a broad smile at her face. Vanille. The one Fang would tear down the sky for. _She's young._ Lightning was surprised. _A little bit younger than Serah would be now…_

"Somone's vivid here. Weren't ya sleepin' already?" Fang greeted as she approached the cheerful teen.

"Nay. Didn't feel like sleepin' yet."

"Good because I need ya to take a look at her wrists." Fang pointed with her head at the prisoner. "As far as I can tell, they got infected."

Vanille turned to look at the prisoner with curiosity. "That's her, isn't it?" She asked and didn't wait for Fang's response. In no time she was standing before the pinkette. "Hello, I'm Vanille and you must be Lightnin', right?"

Lightning brought her glassy eyes up to the girl's smiling face. She shouldn't have been surprised. That was completely asinine as far as Lightning was concerned, but when imagining Pulse natives, children had never even crossed her mind. They had been always images of big bad villains put into her head by Cocoon's authorities.

"Hold your chocobos, 'Nille." Fang appeared next to the redhead and put the keys in her hand. "Get your things and one wrist at a time."

Then Fang pressed Lightning more firmly into the stone behind her, keeping her motionless and put a blade under her throat. Fang's emerald eyes, bored into Lightning's glassed ones, looked just as sharp as the edge of the knife.

"Fang…" Vanille put a solicitous hand on the woman's shoulder. "I don't think this is necessary."

"Uh-uh." Fang shook her head, still staring warily into Lightning's eyes. "As long as ya're here, I'm not takin' any chances."

Despite the fog in Lightning's mind, a ghost of a smile appeared on her face at long last. It was heartwarming how protective Fang was if it came to the younger Pulsian. Surely, they weren't related by blood but the strong bond between the two was unmistakable. She couldn't push away the thoughts of her own sister. About the bond they once had. The bond that she had destroyed long before Serah's death. With trying to be the responsible one, by inaptly playing the parent figure, by mistaking being strong with being cold.

"Lightnin'…" Vanille tried to get her attention. "I'm sorry, it'll sting for a little bit…"

And a little bit was an understatement. A shiver ran through her body making all her muscles tense but Vanille went on with cleaning her wound making it sting even more. Lightning gritted her teeth a swallowed a whine. Despite being apologetic about it, the girl was doing what was necessary, as gently as it was possible. Lightning almost laughed at the thought that Fang was doing it to her again. Pulling her away from the arms of death which this time were already spread welcomingly, ready to cozily nestle her in. That was cynical.

However, Lightning didn't have it in her to hold a grudge against the brunette anymore. She had no strength to be angry. Besides, Fang left an opening here that didn't escape Lightning's attention. Her protectiveness over Vanille, it could be a devastating weapon if used properly. The blade under her chin that was meant to keep her in check... It would be so easy to force Fang's hand…

"How bad is it?" Fang asked the younger one.

"Oh, she'll be fine." The redhead chirped but she seemed troubled, anyway.

"Um-hum. And what aren't ya tellin' me?" The brunette wasn't convinced with the simple answer.

"Fang…" Vanille's expression darkened when she continued rubbing something into Lightning's wrists. "I don't think she would make it through another day without a proper treatment…"

Fang's head hung and a while of silence spread between them. "Suspected that much…"

When Vanille finished wrapping her wrist in a bandage, she shackled it and moved to another one with trouble painted all over her face. She took Lightning's palm into hers and her expression darkened even more. It would be impossible to not notice the missing nails in addition to gashing wound on her wrist.

"Fang… why are they doin' it to her…?"

The brunette breathed out a tired sigh and a frown on her face deepened even more. Lightning opened her eyes a little wider watching the struggle on Fang's face with an interest.

"They claim she knows somethin'. Somethin' important but no matter what they do, she doesn't budge. Not even a word out of her."

Vanille nodded in acknowledgment and started to take care of another infected wound. "But the things they're doin' to her…" She stopped for a moment looking for words. "It's just horrible…"

"Ya think I don't know, that?" Lightning was surprised to find pure sadness in Fang's voice. Her awareness was already pushed to its thin limits. She wished her mind was sharper so she could witness their conversation without missing any less obvious elements or without any tricks that her mind was likely to apply there.

"We can't just sit and watch…" The redhead's shoulders slumped. Although she was all worried and uncertain, she seemed equally determined.

"'Nille…" The brunette sighed heavily. "There is nothin' we can do."

"We could try at least…" Despite its high pitch, her voice was very intent and even a little bit reproaching. She seemed to desperately look for any anchor to at least convince Fang to give it some thought. "Maybe we could talk to them? Tell them that this is wrong..."

Fang burst out with disbelieving laughter. "Can ya hear yourself? And since when do they listen to anyone but themselves? Caius is adamant. He doesn't even want to hear about feedin' his prisoners properly let alone lettin' them go or anythin' like that."

Vanille's eyes widened with a sudden realization. "You've tried already…" She said with a lower voice and stared at Fang who narrowed her eyes even more. She didn't answer. Vanille hung her head discouraged. Still, the anxiety was nudging at her. "There must be somethin' we can do…"

"Ya know how things work here. There is no middle ground."

"So what you're just goin' to stand there and watch these people suffer for no reason?!" Vanille countered, trying to poke at her conscience and Fang was never the one to just stand impassive about things like this. She didn't waver to express her displeasure, even it was Vanille she had to oppose.

"I don't care!" She snapped at last, finally losing the rest of her patience. "They hate us! They're Cocoonian vipers snoopin' around, ready to strike anytime. They wanted it easy, they could have stayed on their cozy Cocoon but they chose to come here, to mess with us. So why should I care now?" Fang's eyes narrowed and she kept staring into Lightning's as if it wasn't the redhead she was talking to. As if she wanted to confront the Cocoonian herself. Wanted Lightning to confirm or oppose. Anything other than that damn silence Fang had been getting since this started. She was searching for an answer to the question 'why she should care', but Lightning couldn't help her there. She herself didn't know. They were enemies. There was no reason for Fang to care, yet her eyes, despite being unyielding and hostile, kept searching.

"Comin' here might have been their choice just as much as it is ours now…" The younger woman added calmly, after the wave of Fang's frustration finally subsided. She kept her eyes to the wound though, doing her job, not wanting to push too hard.

"Vanille… I swear…" The brunette gave Vanille an exasperated glare and another moment of silence hung between them.

"Well… you wouldn't send for me in the middle of the night if you didn't care at all." The redhead broke the silence, trying to hide her smile and failing badly at that. Fang's disbelieving glare turned slowly towards Vanille, giving her a serious warning to stop but it only made her giggle. "Oh, c'mon Fang, don't give me that look. We grew up together, I know when you say things but you don't mean them."

"I don't know what sits in that head of yours but there is still a lot of growin' up ahead of ya, missy." Fang's eyes narrowed on the redhead and they were still intimidating but her voice adopted a pinch of playful timbre.

"Heeey!" Vanille moaned with a pout and smacked Fang on the shoulder. "I'm no longer a kid here!"

"Then stop talkin' and do your job."

How surprised Fang was when she turned her head and found a faint smile on the solider's lips. She arched an eyebrow in question and her green eyes shone with delight even if she knew, that there wouldn't be any answer. It was more than she anticipated anyway. Her own lips curved into a smirk. "Funny much, huh?"

Lightning wished she could have had a relationship like that with her sister. To be stronger than a stone whenever Serah needed someone to lean on. To be a sister whenever Serah needed someone to talk with, even if about the silliest things. To be someone Serah could laugh with. To be someone Serah could trust and not be afraid of. From all these things, she had been only a stone and even with that, she had failed in the end. Pushing her sister away when she needed her most. Maybe that's what it was all about. To show her in the end what she should have been for Serah and she couldn't.

Vanille was already applying a dressing to the wound, she would be finished soon. There wasn't much time left and Lightning's heartbeat quickened. For a while there she started to wonder if the girl was right. Did Fang care? Or more important. Could she trust Fang to lend her a hand here? The brunette denied that she cared at all and Lightning could fully understand. She would be damned if she herself helped the enemy. After all, Vanille was just a naïve girl with too much faith in people's good intentions and Fang wasn't naïve. Fang knew the consequences. But maybe Fang's care wasn't needed at all? Maybe that little push would be enough…

Vanille was just finishing to tie the bandage when Lightning's hand shot up. The girl yelped in surprise as the prisoner's fingers tightened around her throat. Immediately, Lightning was pushed hard against the stone behind her. The blade dug harder against her throat forcing her chin up into an uncomfortable position. She opened her tired eyes halfway to stare into Fang's. The brunette was gritting her teeth and her narrowed eyes were furious, she seemed confused though. Lightning was staring back challengingly, the firm grip of her hand had no intention of letting go of Vanille.

Unfortunately, this _little push_ didn't seem to be enough for the brunette to instinctively end it at the sight. The more seconds passed the less likable it was that Fang would slide the blade across Lightning's throat. The Cooonian was growing desperate so she clung to the little flicker of hope that Vanille sowed in her mind. She let her eyelids fall, letting out a trembling breath. Then she opened her eyes once again baring all the torment in them to Fang. She took a gamble on the brunette, wanting to trust that she might care enough to respect the prisoner's wish.

"Do it…" Lightning mouthed and kept staring into the slowly widening emerald eyes. Fang's deep frown dissipated as whole her features softened. The sudden realization left her lips agape as she stood there astounded not even an inch closer to release Lightning from her torture.

Much to the pinkhead's disappointment, Fang's hand fell down and her fingers dug forcefully into Lightning's forearm. Just into the right spot. A moment later Lightning no longer felt any control over her fingers and they just slid limply from the redhead's throat. Before she was able to regain the feeling in her palm, it was back in the shackles again.

Vanille was standing there a few steps further than before, still in shock, stroking her throat where Lightning's hand was a moment earlier. The older Pulsian appeared before her leaning down and raising the girl's chin to assess the damage.

"Ya alright?" She asked seeing only a little bit of fading redness. Nothing to be concerned about, though, the solemn frown didn't disappear from Fang's face.

"Yeah… it's nothin'." Her eyes traveled back to Lightning watching her with confusion. "I… don't think she really meant to do me any harm…" The girl said with unease, turning back to the brunette. She didn't react though. Didn't show surprise or anything other than that irritated frown of her. "Like she only wanted to scare me of…" Vanille pushed further but Fang kept ignoring her.

"Pack your things, 'Nille." She said finally, giving the girl a gentle push towards her bag and Vanille didn't protest, still a little bit scared by the incident. Fang followed her but her eyes stayed on Lightning. No playfulness, just a steady angry frown and anxiety behind her eyes.

Fang might be angry all she wanted, Lightning didn't care. Her head was hung down in disappointment. Disappointment both in Fang and in herself. At least she could blame the temperature that was messing with her head. Her senses were dulled to the point when she was naïve enough to trust Fang to help her here.

And Fang refused. She would be angry too if she had strength for that. Right then, she could be only bitter. That hurt. Getting your hopes up and being disappointed. That always hurt. She should have got used to that already.

"Vanille…" Fang left the sentence unfinished narrowing her eyes again at Lightning.

"Yeah?" The redhead wondered but Fang again wasn't answering, watching the prisoner intently, thinking. "Fang?" She insisted, placing a tentative hand at brunettes shoulder to get her attention. Finally, Fang closed her eyes and let out a long, tired sigh.

"Listen…" She started and then lowered her voice. Lightning couldn't make out the words from the distance. She could only see Vanille covering her mouth in shock and then telling ' _Fang, but if someone…_ ' She got immediately shushed by the brunette though.

"Ya don't worry about that. That's on me ya hear me?" Fang said reassuringly and pushed Vanille's forehead with a finger in a playfully comforting manner.

"Besides, no one's gonna get here until mornin'."

Then all she could see was Vanille nodding eagerly with a wide smile and literally diving into the contents of her bag. She was grinding something while Fang propped herself against the wall with her arms crossed, tapping her fingers impatiently on her bicep, watching the prisoner warily.

Soon, Vanille was standing before Lightning again with a mortar in her hands. Inside it, there was intensively dark green paste.

"You may feel a little bit dizzy but it will help with the pain." She said nervously. Probably from being in close proximity to the _dangerous Cocoonian viper_ that a little while earlier took her as a target. "I need to apply some under your tongue."

Lightning didn't react though. That wasn't what she asked for. She wanted the pain gone but not just for a while. A bitterness ran through her. Whatever was applied to her wrist was already working. They were no longer on fire. The cooling effect was slowly emanating from there, maybe even easing the pain a little bit too. At this point, she was convinced that the infection wouldn't propagate any further. What an irony. Fang saved her life again. For some reason, she wouldn't let her die. Couldn't she see that she only kept aggravating the suffering? Prolonging it into god knew how long… without hope of any better ending.

"Lightnin'?" Vanille tried to get her attention perplexed by the lack of reaction. She looked back uncertain what to do, hoping for some aid from the brunette. Fang pushed away from the wall with an irritated grunt. She came closer and took the little dish from Vanille's hands.

"Stop bein' so stubborn! I'm tryin' to help here." Fang was standing right in front of the soldier, clearly irritated by the refusal. Lightning tipped her head upwards, hit into her new sore spot, and glared into Fang's eyes. _This is not the help I asked for_. And her eyes spoke all that her mouth didn't. She asked Fang for help, she trusted her with revealing all the pain and she was disappointed.

Fang didn't care. At least not enough. So what was all this façade for? If Fang wanted to ease her suffering she exactly knew what to do. Then a sudden thought ran through her mind. Maybe Fang listened to her after all. Were they trying to poison her, so no one would find out about their involvement? _They could say that the infection was too far gone._ She quickly dismissed the thought though. It just didn't feel like Fang.

"C'mon Light, lips apart. Ya'll sleep like a baby." Fang was trying to convince the prisoner, her tone getting more encouraging and gentler. _Does she really think that is going to work?_ "That's all I can do..." She added sadly after a moment. That might have been Lightning's imagination or the delusion caused by temperature, she wasn't sure but she found a glimpse of apology in Fang's eyes. That was the deal. The brunette couldn't do what Lightning asked for, moreover, she seemed to be irritated by the request so she decided to do something instead to calm her conscience. But… if she felt any remorse, didn't it mean then that she had to care somewhat? Lightning was just on the bottom of the priorities list. Assuming that she was at the list at all.

Lightning was embittered but she didn't have it in her to stand her ground much longer. They weren't letting her die so what was the difference anyway? She might get some relief at least for a while. The promise of sleep was so wondrously appealing and if these ground herbs were going to provide her with that, she might take that chance. Whatever would happen, it couldn't get worse.

Lightning parted her lips ever so slightly and Fang's gentle fingers pulled her jaw lower to put them apart wider. Then she applied a dose of the green paste under her tongue and slowly pushed her jaw up. The brunette gave her an appreciative look and nodded with approval. Then she turned to Vanille, gave her the dish, and led her back to her bag.

The intense aroma hit Lightning immediately. It almost took her breath away and she felt the little tingles under her tongue that started to spread.

"Thanks 'Nille. Go back to sleep now." She said urging her to leave the place. The redhead nodded in agreement and headed towards exit with her bag packed hastily.

"Hey, big guy." She called reaching the bars. "I'm ready to leave now."

The door opened and so-called 'big guy' entered the cell. Lightning pulled her head up to look at him and he seemed satisfied.

"Looks fine." The man said walking away and disappearing in the corridor he came from.

"Ciao!" Vanille called, waving to the brunette who dismissively waved back while sitting leisurely in her chair.

Not long later, Lightning started to feel the effects of the drug they gave her. The tingling under her tongue evolved into full numbness. Soon the rest of her body started to follow. It felt as if it weighed many tons and moving her muscles was nearly impossible. The drug was affecting her quickly and her vision started to blur. She was fighting to keep her eyes open but her eyelids fell half the way some time ago and they wouldn't go back again. The objects were starting to lose their original shapes and waving on their own. Soon her knees buckled once again and she was ready for the sharp pain screaming in her mind but then… nothing. Just the little tingles near her wrists. How marvelous. Her mind was slowly shutting down and even if this numbness was only temporary it felt so good.

Then out of nowhere, the familiar huntress appeared in front of her. She registered the strong arm circling her back and the woman's body was so close that she could smell her. She didn't know what was happening but the warnings that her subconsciousness was sending were getting lost half the way to the consciousness. Next thing she got aware of, were her arms sagging down her sides limply. And then she was thankful for the brunette there holding her tightly because she would fall against the hard floor like a bag of sand. Slowly and gently she was put to the ground on her side and even something soft appeared under her temple. The tender fingers brushed aside the hair from her face and tucked them behind her ear.

"Sleep tight, Lightnin'." The familiar voice led her safely to the place of dreams. Right then and there it didn't matter at all that she might not even be on the priorities list. It just felt good to drift off.


	12. 11 Empty

Hey.

I wanted this chapter to be ready earlier but I got a little bit distracted. Half of a lesbian world is in the uproar because of She-Ra and I couldn't just stand by. So happy for Catradora - they are precious 3

So yeah, I offer you here a small pinch of long-awaited and well-deserved fluff - don't get too excited it's just a short premise and quick back to drama.

LadyWolvie82 - thanks for beta.

* * *

 **11\. Empty**

"Wake up..." Lightning heard a distant voice in her head but she couldn't help but just ignore it. The mere thought of waking up wasn't appealing at all. Only after she felt a forceful nudge at her shoulder, she decided to open her eyes with a dissatisfied grumble to accompany it. Her vision was blurry, and it was getting back to normal exceptionally slowly. First, she got aware of a heel of a sturdy leather sandal digging into her shoulder. That was… surprising. Then she noticed the two curved blades, crossing each other, their points aimed directly at her. They were attached to the long, red shaft of a spear. _An exquisite weapon…_ Her admiration for the spear was disturbed as she felt the sandal leaving her shoulder and getting back to the ground.

For a while there she wasn't sure if her eyes should follow the length of the spear or the length of the exposed leg. Fortunately, they were both leading in the same direction. The taunt abdomen, the blue fabric… strangely, she could _see_ its softness… Then the familiar face and the jade eyes staring straight into her soul. Lightning felt so naked but when she looked to check, she was fully clothed. Then her eyes returned to where they were before. The brunette tipped her head to the side with an obvious curiosity and arched her brow in question. The corner of lips curled a little bit up. She seemed mildly amused about the situation but Lightning had absolutely no idea what might have caused it. She frowned thinking about it but the more she thought, the heavier her eyelids were becoming and soon enough she no longer remembered what she was thinking about.

"Get up..." The voice stirred her again, preventing the sleepiness from taking over the Cocoonian. The command was very clear, so she didn't hesitate with putting an effort to complete her task. It wasn't as simple as one might think though. Her body felt so alien. She could always put a lot of trust into her limbs and its capabilities but these acted so strangely that she started to consider if they were truly hers… Somehow she managed to scramble onto all four and the world started to wave strangely. She ignored it and tried to get on her feet but then the surrounding started to twirl around her completely and she collided with a wall. No… It wasn't a wall… right? She fell back to the floor... Or maybe she was standing all along and it was the world around her that was all messed up?

She dismissed the thought as she saw the black and red blades of the spear shift back into its resting position. _Interesting…_ But before she got her eyes on the mechanism the spear was already gone and the brunette was crouching before her. Still, a little bit of amusement playing at the corners of her lips. She stretched her hand towards Lightning and the Cocoonian didn't hesitate to grab her forearm in a stable grip. It was nice to not be at the point of a spear anymore. Though, she didn't quite understand why she was in the first place. _Something is off here…way off…_ Before she had a chance to ponder over the thought, that hand was pulling her up and Lightning complied, standing up more successfully this time. Not without any trouble, of course, as the world around her started moving on its own again and she wavered along with it trying to keep her balance. Soon she realized that she didn't need to struggle with it so much anymore because of another hand that appeared on her side, holding her still. Even though she was safely grounded, all that moving around her was giving her a headache. Lightning closed her eyes and her head fell slightly forward to end up leaning against the brunette's shoulder. A soft, appreciative sigh left her mouth. Like _that_ it was much better.

"I know, this is not 'a little bit dizzy'. This is high as hell." The rich, familiar voice started to resound in her ears. It was gentler than she remembered and the soft laughter that followed was a real caress. _High… So that's how it feels…_ She might even smile faintly if her closed eyes didn't cause another surge of sleepiness to engulf her. Her head shifted, stubbornly looking for a little bit more comfortable place. Eventually, she nuzzled her nose in the crook of the brunette's neck. She left a long content sigh. The smell there was so calming and not at all at the same time. Confusing somewhat but she didn't mind.

"Aww, someone's snuggly in the mornin'." The woman chuckled, genuinely endeared by the current situation, and Lightning could feel that chuckle rumbling through the brunette's throat. The tender vibrations against her cheek were so soothing. Lightning's delight didn't last long though as the words, finally, got processed in her head and she realized that she's being mocked.

"Tch…" She pulled her head away but she needed to reconsider her resolve because she was being led backward. Moving and keeping her head upright at the same time was a bad idea so it quickly returned where it was. It didn't take long until she felt a wall against her back and she realized that she was trapped between it and the brunette's body. She froze, assessing the situation, trying to force her mind to sober up and dismissing the funny feeling.

Then she heard it. The clash of metal that made a chill run up her spine. Her eyes opened wide with sudden anxiety. Before she could react the sound filled the silence once again and she couldn't move her hands anymore. And it wasn't because of numbness. That was gradually wearing off. She turned her head only to confirm what she already knew. They were in shackles, pinned to the wall. A tight knot tied itself in her stomach as some shards of memories started to surge back into her in complete chaos.

"Sorry Sunshine, but someone can get here anytime now." The woman before her, _Fang_ , said with a tired sigh. Lightning looked at her all confused, still completely lost in the labyrinth of her mind. Not able to put any chronology to her memories or even make a difference between reality and a dream. Lightning's mouth opened in order to ask a question but, before she figured out what she wanted to ask about, she saw Fang's eyes widen even more than her own. Fang's completely shocked expression threw her off the trail for a moment but the question already started to take form in her mind. That was Fang's finger on her lips that stopped her. The brunette shook her head slowly, her eyes still wide like the saucer plates.

"Nah, I don't think that's what ya want right now." She said solemnly and took a step back from the Cocoonian. Her hands rested on her hips when her unfocused eyes dropped to the floor. She snorted after a moment and shook her head in dissbelievement."I've got some screws loose…" She murmured to herself and disappeared in the shadows.

It didn't take much more time until someone else came and replaced Fang. Although, she was thinking much more clearly by that time. Some water and food sobered her up a lot. The temperature was gone. She wasn't sure if that was due to whatever was applied to her wrists or these heavily intoxicating herbs. Probably mix of both. The old pains were coming back slowly but other than that, her state was stable… Fortunately or not…

Her wounds didn't miraculously heal overnight, of course. Even if tended and bandaged there wasn't much chance for a full and quick recovery with the pressure of shackles against them. Also a few hours of sleep weren't going to make up for weeks of almost none. The tiredness was still present in all her limbs but the half-dead state she had been in, was far away.

The most tired, though, was her head. She felt a little bit dumbfounded. A while earlier she was laying there on the ground, untied. If only she could force her mind to stay sharp she might even be able to trick Fang. If only she could fight off the indisposition of her body and shook off the drug's effects more quickly… It might have actually worked. Instead, she gave in into temptations of haziness and sleepiness. It was hell of a lost opportunity. She acknowledged it but, surprisingly, it didn't bother her at all.

Somehow, everything she was doing and everything she wasn't doing was leading nowhere. She was stuck in one point without any possibility to move in whichever way. Escape was no longer an option and death seemed just as impossible. There was nothing for her.

Lightning pondered over the way she got through since she had been captured. The beginning had been still promising. She had been determined to get out of there. Her mind, sharp as an edge of a knife, had been analyzing the situation quickly, looking for all the potential weak spots, assessing her enemies. The first failure hadn't discouraged her. She had managed to get quite far. Who knew how it could have ended if she had chosen the right passage or got hold of a weapon. Unfortunately, the Pulsians had started to take precautions and after another failure the vision of escape had started to slip through her fingers. Especially, considering her worsening condition and weakening attention. The third attempt… hadn't really been an attempt. At that point her priorities were already shifting. Eventually, she had accepted, that she wouldn't have made it alive so all she'd been trying to achieve had been an escape from this predicament through death. She had craved for death so badly that her determination had gradually turned into desperation. That failed too.

There was nothing for her and that was exactly how she felt. Blank inside. There was no single desire in her anymore. Even the answers she was searching so badly, all that kept her going for over a year, were so distant that they lost its significance. She ended up, an empty shell, no longer wanting anything, no longer terrified of what they might do to her, no longer treasuring anything.

Fang and Vanille. They even deepened that state. The seed was planted and now she couldn't get rid of the thought that she nad been lied to through her whole life. Pulse natives. Most of them matched perfectly into the image that Cocoon authorities had been consequently painting in her mind since she had been old enough to understand. Barbarians, savages, brutes wanting nothing more than to smash Cocoon out of their sky. But didn't she meet mostly warriors? Hardened in battle, trained to kill, executing orders without any hesitation. _Isn't Cocoon's military the same way? Am I not the same…?_

Seeing Vanille all naive and caring for a stranger… for a _Cocoonian viper_ hated by all of them… seeing Fang torn between fulfilling her duty and easing the prisoner's pain, hearing her sometimes unbelievable hunt stories, inseparably connected to their way of life… This all made her realize that people of Gran Pulse were just as human and just as inhuman as her own. All she believed in, shattered. She no longer knew what was good and what was bad. Even that certainty was taken from her. She was left empty. Without answers, without desires, without hope.

Oh, there was one thing still there, though… One promise that had left her mouth on impulse and it felt so terribly wrong now. She had promised that she would never spill any information that might endanger Cocoon. There was nothing wrong with it, except that she promised on the memory of her sister. She should have never done that. Serah… the memory of her was sacred for Lightning how could she promise anything on that?

Then she remembered Fang's finger on her lips. ' _Nah, I don't think that's really what ya want right now._ ' The brunette's words echoed in her mind. If it wasn't for Fang she would have spoken to her. That wouldn't be probably anything of importance but it would be a serious crack in her resolve that might propagate further and further. If Fang had started pulling teeth then, Lightning couldn't guarantee she would have been sober enough to stay silent. She wondered why Fang had stopped her then. Wasn't that what the brunette was after from the very beginning? Didn't she want to make her talk? Weren't they all supposed to make her talk?

If Fang told anyone about what occurred, if she passed the idea further, if they started drugging her… She already felt blank at that point but if she broke that promise, she would be less than nothing.

All that was left of her was waiting for what was to come. Waiting for some change… or maybe not. Maybe there wasn't anything good in change. Maybe things could be even worse? She was slowly getting used to being there. She had nowhere to go and no motivation to do anything so why shouldn't things stay just as they were?

Life had never been easy on her. Also this time it wasn't going to just let her be. Eventually, they came for her again. She wondered if they were ever going to give up. Soon enough, all intel that Lightning might be able to deliver to the enemy side would be out of date. They had to be aware of that. So the growing urgency in their actions wasn't anything unexpected. Soon the Cocoonian would become useless for them.

Lightning let a tired sigh out. Her legs and arms were tied to a chair she was seated in. A table before her and another chair on the other side. There wasn't anyone else in this room. They dragged her here some time earlier and left her alone. Thought of trying to free herself crossed her head fleetingly but it was quickly dismissed by her reluctant mind. It wasn't that bad after all. She was sitting. That was comfortable. She might have even fallen asleep for a few minutes, though, she felt uneasy in this place. That was unusual. They wouldn't bring her here only to sit her in the chair and leave. Lightning was getting impatient. She just wanted to be over with whatever they planned for her and be back in the cell she got used to. The anticipation and uncertainty of sitting here were getting on her nerves. In her cell she could easily fall into a dull apathy, here her indifference was being violated.

Finally, Lightning heard the distant noises. _Someone's coming._ She opened her eyes in surprise and pricked up her ears, unsure if her mind wasn't playing tricks at her again. As the voice got closer, there was no doubt, she knew the person it belonged to.

"I've already told you all I know… leave me alone!" The voice ran through the corridors just before a man was dragged into the chamber by two Gran Pulse warriors. As soon as he appeared inside his eyes met with Lightning's alarmed ones and the rest of his words got stuck in his throat. He was as much surprised to see her, as Lightning was surprised to see him. None of them seemed happy though.

"Indeed. Alas, your information holds no value to me." Caius entered the room just behind them. "Still, you may get a chance to convince your friend." He hung his purple eyes on Lightning and his smile crooked ominously. "Refrain from the unnecessary mess this time." The two Pulsian men nodded in acknowledgment and Caius left.

One of her soldiers was now sitting across the table staring back at her, petrified. She could easily see how frightened he was, even if he was badly trying to hide it. He seemed ashamed to show his fear before her, ashamed of all he might have already told.

Lightning closed her eyes and let an exasperated breath out. She remembered him quite well. He was the first GC volunteer for the job. Proud, eager to prove himself, excited to feel 'a little bit of the thrill of Pulse'. That surely wasn't what he had in mind. Now, he looked battered. Visibly, he lost some weight, his face was covered with uneven patches of bristle, the bloodshot eyes and shadows under them told her that he didn't have much more sleep than she did. He looked wretched and Lightning started to wonder just how wretched she had to look like herself. Once she might have straightened her back to proud to let one of her subordinates see her like that. Hopeless and weak.

 _Unused muscles gradually shrink away._ She no longer felt the power in hers that had been there before. Truth, she was tired, deprived of sleep, and hungry but even without that, her capabilities would be far lesser than before. This time, however, she let her head hung indifferently. She failed and there was no pride left in her to deny it.

"'For every task there is a perfect tool.' Isn't that what you Cocoonians used to say?" The Pulsian that was left with them stood right behind the other soldier but ignored him completely, directing his words of choice straight to Lightning. She did recognize the words. That was what PSICOM kept grinding into its soldiers' heads for Etro knew how long. Nabaat's operating rule number one. She would never expect to hear this now, but it looked like Nabaat's shadow would follow her even to Gran Pulse.

"One doesn't need to make a mess to make someone sing. You just need to strike a nerve." He smiled, ominously putting his hand on the soldier's shoulder and playing with a long needle in the other hand. And Lightning knew that the metaphor was meant for her but the literality of the statement was meant for the soldier. She'd already been through that. The memory of prickling pain running up and down the whole length of her hand when the needle was stuck into her ulnar nerve. Fire burning her from inside out when it had been wiggled. This time it wasn't her turn though, and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

She didn't raise her head when the first muffled scream reached her ears. She kept her chin low trying to stay impassive but with another scream a shiver ran through her. They were going to torture him before her. By then, they probably knew she was the one who brought all these soldiers here to Pulse. They couldn't make her speak so they decided to try some other approach. She let a small breath out, slowly and steady, trying to push back whatever guilt was starting to itch at her. With another cry, though, her muscles tensed and her eyelids pressed down.

"You may keep your eyes closed but I'm sure you can hear him, _right ma'am_?"

The way he called her struck right into this little piece of conscience she didn't know she still had. The one she had buried along with her mother. _Ma'am…_ She was to be responsible for this bunch of soldiers and then… they were all rotting in this hellhole and one of them was just being tortured right in front of her. She could hear his heavy breathing coming in and out slowly, shaking.

"You don't have to suffer. None of you would if only she was more cooperative." This time he said to the tortured soldier and another growl of pain filled the chamber. "You could help me encourage her, couldn't you?" The soldier said nothing though. Lightning could only hear his shaky breath, whizzing through his teeth, hoping for a little break but there was none.

Lightning concentrated on relaxing her muscles and shutting out all the external stimuli, thinking about nothing else but breathing. She was able to empty her head but every cry or muffled groans were ruffling her calmness like stones being thrown one after another on the smooth surface of a pond. She tried to relocate herself into the last place she had felt safe in. Long ago, when she had been a kid. Her mother sitting on the floor right beside young Claire, her arms holding her close in the comforting embrace, her hand stroking Claire's hair, her fingers pulling the child's chin up, her reassuring eyes and gentle voice. _It'll be fine. The three of us just need to stick together, right?_ Claire's little sniff, a slight nod. Her teary eyes looking up on her mother's smiling face and then… a distant groan of a soldier tearing through the memory. Anguish corrupting it, distorting, her mother face changing in flashes into the last version she remembered. Tired, grey, with hollow cheeks, her lips still smiling weakly but her eyes filled with sadness. Her strawberry blonde hair cut short, so thin that they were barely there. A feeble whisper. _It'll be fine. The two of you just need to stick together…_

She snapped her eyes open, trembling. It didn't work as she planned. All her comforting memories were corrupted to the point that they could no longer bring her any solace. They all were piling up with the grief, weighing on her shoulders. She couldn't use them anymore. She needed someplace neutral, where she could just disconnect… rest.

Her own bed appeared in her mind, the softness of the mattress, the warmth of blankets enveloping her, the tranquility of sleep. As much as she yearned for sleep she could no longer associate it with some peaceful act. Her fingers twitching slightly, her brows knitting together in a frown. A cry reaching from outside, merging with the dream, turning into the terrible shriek which kept her sleepless through so many nights.

A shiver ran through her body and she no longer tried to retreat into her mind. It was useless, there was nowhere to hide. Maybe reality wasn't as bad compared to what was waiting for her inside her head. She no longer knew what she should keep herself distracted from.

She watched a drop of sweat run down the soldier's jaw, hang there for a short moment, and fell down. Or maybe that was a tear, she couldn't tell. Probably a mix of both.

"Please… stop…" He rasped out, with his voice breaking, breathing heavily but his pleading was pointless. Then she saw him struggling against his bonds with another cry, trying to get away from the pain running through his body.

"Fine, I could give you a break for a minute. Then we'll look for other suitable places we could stick these little beauties into." The man retreated then a few steps to attend to his tools.

The tears mixed with sweat kept running down the soldier's face. He brought his desperate eyes to Lightning's. "You can end this…"His voice was hoarse and from the look on his face, she knew that he wouldn't take much more. "Tell them what they want to know… or they'll kill us all."

Lightning's lips pressed into a tight line. That had to happen eventually, that was their goal from the beginning. She was aware, though, that he didn't think clearly, the words were forced into his mouth. He should have resisted but he was weak. She always knew that the only person she could trust was herself… except… she doubted herself too at this point.

"Please, I have a wife and a daughter… most of us have…" His voice started to break but Lightning wasn't going to let his words get into her head. _You wanna survive, you forget about sympathy._ Even if she didn't care about surviving, she wanted to at least stay sane. After all, it wasn't her fault. She wanted to go alone. They wouldn't let her, they forced her to take backup. It was their fault these soldiers weren't getting back home. That wasn't on her.

"Not like I expect you to understand." His voice grew more offensive and desperate since Lightning didn't respond to anything he said. "You have no one waiting for you back there."

Lightning's pupils dilated in shock, at the speed of her namesake. They grew unfocused and a chill started to slowly spill all over her body. Everything around her went dead silent or maybe it was just her, retreating into herself, hearing only the thumping of her heart and the blood humming in her ears. The chill that made her breathing stop left her body in goosebumps. It transformed into grief and then further. Her fingers dug into the wood of the chair and she gritted her teeth fighting the uneven fight with a wave of rage that was engulfing her all. _You know nothing about me._ He was just some minor weakling who had no right to talk to her like that. Some minor weakling who didn't know _what_ he was talking about. As much as she wanted to ignore him these words hurt her more than most of the things that the Pulsians did to her.

"Is that what you want?!" She shouted at him no longer able to keep it all in her. Her voice sounded strange to her own ears after Etro knew how long of not using it. Much more hoarse and strangled but it didn't matter. "You want me to help them invade Cocoon?! Have you ever thought what these savages will do to your _wife and daughter_?" She saw how his eyes widened in dread and some reason might actually get into his imbecile head.

"Man up, soldier." She added, more calmly after a while, having enough of his dumb stare. Her voice was filled with scorn though, and her eyes made it clear how much she despised him at that point. She was never going to babysit any of them, and had no intention to start now.


End file.
